What am I supposed to do now that my plan failed? Who am I kidding, I always fail. I can’t even kill myself properly.
“Eat. I am not going to tell you again,” Ares barks, causing me to jump.
I take a small bite, bile churns in my stomach as I desperately try to swallow the vomit rising in my throat.
My gaunt reflection flickers in the flower vase on the table. My sunken, hollowed eyes look void of any emotion. Just dead—like I should be. A small bead of sweat drips down my forehead, the only visible sign to my distress. I’m scared of what he will do if I don’t keep my food down. Will he punish me like Daddy used to?
The memories flash and it’s like I’m five years old all over again…
Even though Mama worked her fingers to the bone all day, she always made sure I had a hot plate of food at night. Tonight, she fixed fried chicken, mashed potatoes, and green beans. I hate green beans, but Daddy put them on my plate anyway. He says if I don’t eat them, I’m going to be sorry.
Maybe, if I eat them first and quickly, I can get the flavor out of my mouth with my other food. My stomach is growling, I’m so hungry. Daddy didn’t give me the lunch money he was supposed to, so I didn’t get to eat at school again today. My friend, Annalyse, shared some crackers with me on the bus. She’s always looking out for me.
The first bite of green beans tastes terrible. It’s coming back up before I can swallow. Daddy is looking at me from the corner of his eye, his face already turning red. I have to finish them. I grip my fork tightly, trying to steady my trembling hand. Here goes nothing. I take a full bite and chew fast. Tears form in my eyes because I’m fighting so hard to get them down. It’s no use, I can’t do it. I run to the trash and start vomiting.
Please no… He’s getting up from the table. The blood drains from my body and fear takes its place. I should run but I can’t. My legs are like lead weights anchored to the ground. That’s a good thing, it would be worse if I ran. “You ungrateful brat! What did I tell you? If you can’t appreciate what your mother made you, you can go to bed without! Go to your room! Now!” he roars.
“Frank! Leave her alone!” Mama cries, running to shield me from him.
“The ungrateful brat will get what she deserves.” He backhands Mama and shoves her into a wall. “Pull that shit again and her punishment will be even worse!”
Mama slumps to the floor, trying to hide her tears from me.
I don’t hesitate, my legs seem to magically unlock themselves and I run as fast as I can. If I can get there in time, I can lock the door.Don’t do that, Maya, I think to myself,that only makes him more upset.
I quickly reach the doorway, but he scoops me up by the front of my shirt before I can go inside. He holds me at his eye level, slamming me into the wall. My head crashes so hard against the wood paneling, I see stars, the air knocked from my lungs.
“Worthless waste of space you are. Don’t you dare come out of this room until it’s time for school in the morning. Do you understand me?” The veins in his neck bulge and his body trembles with rage.
I nod. “Yes, sir.”
Daddy puts me down. When I turn to walk away, he kicks me from behind, causing me to fall to the floor, hitting my already bruised knees. I hold in my shaky breath to keep from letting him hear me cry.
Later that night, after Daddy is drunk and passed out, Mama brings me a plate of warm food. I beg her to leave, but she won’t. I think she is afraid of him too. She’s always trying to keep him happy and his attention away from me.
Mama was truly an angel on earth. My piece-of-shit father never deserved her. Everything changed after she died. He became a bigger monster, an object of pure evil. He forced me to quit school at sixteen to go work at the local diner to pay the bills.
If I was ever short of money, he made me pay for things in other ways. He sold my virginity to the local drug dealer days after Mama’s funeral for an 8-ball of cocaine and a pack of smokes.
He told me I was ugly and nobody would ever want me, so we might as well get my virginity out of the way. He said my brown hair and eyes were the color of the muck along the riverbank and nobody would ever find that attractive.
I struggle to finish the eggs and bacon on my plate and swallow down a full glass of orange juice. My body trembles with anxiety.
“Are you ok?” the blond one asks. I nod, trying not to show weakness. “What’s your name?”
“Maya,” I whisper.
“That’s a pretty name. I’m Ethan.” He extends his hand for me to shake. “That jackass is over there, is my uncle, Nick. Don’t let him scare you. He’s not that bad once you get to know him.”
By the way Nick cuts his eyes at Ethan, I’m not sure I can agree.
Unsure of what to do with myself next, I take my plate to the sink and start washing the dishes, but Ethan stops me. “Don’t worry about that, our housekeeper, Emma, will get those.”
“Are you going to let me leave now?” I hope and pray they let me go so I don’t have to be a burden here any longer. They can go on with their lives, and I can find a way out of mine.
“Absolutely not. Nick says it’s in your best interest to stick around here for a while.” Ethan replies firmly, crossing his arms, but still in a relaxed state.
I leave the kitchen and walk towards the room I woke up in. I don’t have the energy to fight with him.
