Even if I knew everything, it didn’t mean it wouldn’t be hard to hear about the feelings or past experiences of this life my son and girlfriend used to have.
The silence between us was filled with tension until he finally let out a heavy sigh.
“Avery, remember that night we went out a few weeks after moving here?”
“You mean the night of the video?” she responded, dryly.
“Yeah.” He drummed his fingers against his leg. “Well, I know we were all wasted, but when I asked you to fuck those guys, and watched it all back the next morning, I fucking hated every minute of it. It gutted me to watch you enjoy it. To watch you come on someone else’s cock. Like you were eager for the chance to be with anyone who wasn’t me.”
I inwardly winced at his choice of words, trying my best to hide my emotions.
“So, instead of telling me that, and being honest, you decided to fuck other women without my knowledge and blackmail me for money after I left you? How is any of that fair?”
“You kept asking when we were going to hang out with them again. Like you were already anticipating the next time!” His voice elevated.
“You asked for it, Jax. I never wanted it, but in that moment, I would have done anything to make you happy. Even if I didn’t feel like myself. Maybe in those early days of living here, I was also trying to reinvent myself.”
Avery kept her tone calm, but Jackson still didn’t like what she had to say.
“You took your jealousy way farther than you should have, Jax,” she added.
I wanted to reach out and touch her, graze my thumb along her knee, wrap my arm around the couch so it was closer to her.
Fuck.
It was harder than I thought it would be to hear them talk about their past.
But Avery was strong. She could handle herself.
“You asked me to fool around with those guys. So, I did, not having any idea how far it would actually go. And the further it went, the more I forgot. The more the drugs I drank took over my memory. You wanted to film it, and I assumed it would be for your own pleasure. So, Iactedlike I enjoyed it. And even though my memory from that night isn’t there without the video to remind me, I know I suffered through every minute of it. I asked when we’d see them next because I wanted to find a way to get out of it. I wanted to pick up an extra shift at the pool and do anything I could to make myself unavailable. You bottled up your jealousy, and to get even, you took it out on me by fucking other women. You got caught, and then you didn’t want to let go of me—so, you blackmailed me to keep me close. But guess what, Jax? You wanted to keep me away from other men, yet you shoved me right into their arms. You asked a girl that came from nothing to hand over an amount of money I would never have, and you knew it. So, I worked it off byactingjust like I did that night you took the video.”
Hearing Avery set Jackson straight fucking tore me up.
“And what is it with you not being able to make up your mind? Jesus Christ, Jax. Some moments you’re acting like I was your one great love, and the next, you’re saying the most hateful things I could ever imagine. You can’t have you’re fucking cake and eat it too.”
After she spilled her thoughts and feelings, she stood up, walking away toward the balcony for some fresh air.
I was under the impression that those feelings were just the tip of the iceberg. Avery had years of pent-up anger, frustration, and hurt she needed to unload—rightfully so.
I held up a finger toward Jackson. “Stay. Give me a minute.”
When I stood to chase Avery, Jackson let out a pent-up breath. If I had to guess, Avery nailed everything she said, leaving him speechless.
Jax was such a fucking manchild!
He could have saved me a world of hurt if he had just communicated a little better. We were together for years, and he never felt like he could tell me he was going to meet his dad? He didn’t want me by his side when doing so? He couldn’t just be a fucking man and tell me he didn’t end up enjoying watching me with another man when it was all his own idea in the first place?
Jesus.
Of course, it was all in the past, and it doesn’t matter now. After seeing what kind of person he could be, I was happy with how it all turned out, even if it was the hard way. If I met Spencer years ago while Jax and I were still together, I never would have ended up with him.
That thought alone was heartbreaking.
“What do we do now, Spencer? Where do we even go from here?” The words were lodged in my throat, each one sounding broken as they escaped.
It was clear that me and Spencer both had bombs dropped on us today. We hadn’t had a moment alone to talk about anythingor even a second by ourselves to process this new information. We were thrown straight into the fire with no idea how to navigate our way out.
“I know one thing,” he kissed my forehead, “and it’s that I want to be with you.”
