“I don’t know the full story yet, but I can tell you’ve been through something traumatic. You’re allowed to bring those feelings to life, Avery.”
He was so wise. So much older. But he’d never get it.
“It’s okay if you need more time,” he added.
“No. No, I can do this,” I lied, knowing how hard this next part was going to be to admit. Knowing he could walk away and realize that I was simply too much. Too much baggage. Too much of a trainwreck. Too young. Too used and abused.
“My ex convinced me that night to open our relationship. Drunk me thought it sounded like a fun and sexy idea. I wanted to do whatever I could to make him happy. The thought of him with other women hadn’t crossed my mind. I just thought he wanted to watch me with other men… with the new friends we brought back. Maybe a one-time thing because we were havingsuch a fun day. When he offered me another drink to help me loosen up, I accepted it. I trusted him. I came on to the guys thinking it was what he wanted me to do. I kissed them both. I put on the best damn show that I could just to makehimhappy. And that was the last thing I remembered until…”
Fuck. My chest hurt. It felt like the world was closing in on me, keeping the truth lodged in my throat with no way out.
I shook my head, trying to ward off the feelings from that time in my life coming back to haunt me.
“Deep breath, Avery.” His rough voice soothed me.
One … Two … Three …
With each count, I took a breath.
When I told him the most pressing detail, I needed to look in his eyes, no matter how hard it would be. I had to be able to read his expressions. So, I lifted my head from his chest, turned my body to face him, and straddled his legs, holding our bodies close.
Any other time, this position would rock my world, but in this moment, it was the way I could be closest to him. I could look into his eyes and feel his arms wrapped around me.
My hands roamed up his chest and a pang of hurt shot through me as I wondered what it would be like to have to go back to the life I was living before I met him. What if he took this part of me from my past and looked at me like I was filthy, and nothing like the girl I’ve shown him I was today?
“Until what, Avery?” he pleaded with me to tell him more.
“Until Valentine’s Day.” I tugged on my lip before allowing more to rise to the surface. “I went out to buy something new to wear. Something to spice up our night. I was on my way home when one of the guys from that night sent me a link. I never even remembered giving him my phone number. He was practically a stranger. Sure enough, it was me—and the two men from that night. I remember having that last drink. I remember having alittle bit of fun. But I didn’t remember anything that I saw in that video. The worst part was … Jax was the camera man and director. He was telling them everything to do to me.”
Fuck her with your fingers. Hold her down and choke her with your cock. She likes it rough.
His voice behind the camera still rang in my head like it was yesterday.
“When I woke up the morning after the video was filmed, we never talked about it. Hence, why I thought it was innocent fun and a one-time thing. My mind was fuzzy, but I figured I’d blacked out from drinking too hard, and there was just some kissing and fooling around. Nothing like what I actually saw on Valentine’s Day when I stormed home to confront him, only to find him in bed with someone else—” I swallowed the distaste of the memory before adding, “Technically, a few someone else’s.”
“Jesus Christ, Avery.” His eyes were soft, yet angry at the same time. He pulled me in close, his hold on me lasting minutes before anything was said at all. The warmth of his arms wrapped around me gave me the inkling that he wasn’t going anywhere. He wasn’t judging me, and he wasn’t planning on leaving anytime soon.
“Please tell me how this video of you ties back to your work and ex-boyfriend.” Spencer broke the silence through a clenched jaw.
“He said he’d have it taken down after I get him five hundred thousand dollars.” Truly, I had no idea how it could be taken down everywhere. It was on the internet, and everyone knew when something was posted on the internet, it was thereforever.
“The morning after it all went down, I vaguely remember Jax recording. The extent of it was buried somewhere in my memory. But I’d never asked to see it. I felt disgusted about him wanting to see me with someone else—whether it was just kissing or more. I assumed I acted as if I enjoyed every minute,knowing deep down that could never be true. I couldn’t tell you if he ever planned to tell me if he posted that video or not. But when I confronted him, he turned into a person I never knew he had the ability of being. First, he was cheating on me. We hadn’t ever talked about him being with someone like wetalkedabout me being with someone on that one stupid night. And then, all of a sudden, he was blackmailing me out of nowhere the moment I pulled the plug on our relationship. He said he had debts to pay, and whether that was the truth or not, I went into desperation mode.”
I was desperate to have the video taken down. So desperate, I was willing to find the quickest route to that amount of money. The idea of beginning a new life—the reason we’d moved here in the first place—was for a fresh start. How the hell was I supposed to get a good job down the line with something like that lingering over my head that could pop up at any time?
Talk about an HR nightmare.
Spencer’s hands left my hips and ran over his face. He sighed into his palms and instantly, my mood changed.
“I-I’m sorry. I know it’s too much?—”
“No, no. Avery, don’t even think that for a second. Nothing about you is too much. I’m just thankful that you’re sitting on my lap right now, because if you weren’t, I’d already be down the elevator and on the hunt for this guy to kick his ass.”
“Trust me, he’s not worth it,” I mumbled under my breath.
“Please tell me why you decided to work off his debt instead of getting the police involved?”
“It just seemed like the easier route to go. I don’t have parents I can go to; I don’t know the right people, and it all would have cost me money I didn’t have anyway. I didn’t want to have to deal with talking about this to people.”
