“Oh, f-f-fucking god,” he mumbles. “Mmmm…yes. Yes,Elijah. Yesssss…”
And I fucking freeze.
The bottle of lube clatters onto the floor as he jerks forward, pressing his weight down on my shoulder.
“Noah… sweetheart. Dios mío. Perdóname, por favor.”
I have no clue what he’s saying—nor do I care.
The weight of his words, of Elijah’s name, hits just as hard as the weight of his body. I squirm underneath him, breath hitching, tears burning at the corner of my eyes. My heart doesn’t just ache—it explodes. Like he’s driven a knife straight through and twisted it until everything in me screams.
“Get off me!” I shout, shoving him in the chest. But my one-hundred-forty-pound body is no match for his one-ninety—he barely moves.
“Stop it, Gabriel! Get the fuck off me!”
He wraps an arm around my waist, locking me in place. My chest tightens. I choke on the spit rising in my throat and try to swallow, but it won’t go down.
Panic slams into me.
“I knew this was a mistake.” My voice cracks. “I should’ve listened to… to…”
My mind blanks, like it’s refusing to even give me that much.
I pound my fists into his sides, not to hurt him, but because I don’t know what else to do—because everything inside me is unraveling. I can feel myself slipping, and I don’t know how to grab hold.
Tears spill, hot and fast, and I sob from somewhere deep in my chest.
“Let me go, Gabriel. Just let me go.”
“Noah,” he whispers, his voice desperate. “Please, baby. Calm down. Let me explain.”
But I can’t hear him over the roaring in my ears.
I can’t breathe.
Can’t think.
Can’t understand how we got here—how something that felt so right and safe now feels like something I need to survive.
I swing my legs over the side of the bed—and slip. My foot skids through a puddle of spilled lube, nearly sending me crashing to the floor.
My lavender panties are lying right beside it. I slide them on—literally—and stumble into a shaky stand before scanning the room for the rest of my clothes.
“Sweetheart, wait—” Gabriel’s voice cracks behind me.
Noah, baby. For god’s sake, calm down. He cares about you. You can trust him.
Oh…nowshe’s back. But now, I don’t want to speak to her. She’s crowding the space I’m barely holding together. She needs to get the hell out of my head.
I snatch my shirt off the floor and shove it over my head, rage blurring my vision. The rest of my things are scattered like a trail of breadcrumbs. I follow them blindly, pulling each one on in the order I find it.
Out of the corner of my eyes, I catch Gabriel lying flat on his back, one arm flung across his face. He’s crying, but I’m too pissed off to care.
Or maybe I care too much.
You do care, Noah. It’s okay to admit it.
“Fuck you!” I scream, not at Gabriel, but the voice running through my mind.
