Is she afraid? Of whoever tried to hurt her, of all the unknowns?
It hardly looks that way, but a person can bury fear under numbness to cope if it’s bad enough.
My hackles rise alongside the pained thump of my heart, without my totally understanding why.
“The administration will be taking every precaution to ensure you aren’t threatened again. You can’t throw away your entire schooling over one incident.”
For the first time since I entered the room, a trace of sharper emotion colors Elodie’s tone. “Who said that’s what I’m doing?”
The fact that I’ve provoked some kind of passion in her spurs me on. “What other reason could you have for abandoning your studies? This is your whole future you’re talking about.”
Her eyes narrow, but the glint of life that’s come into them brings a wave of relief—even though her new energy seems to be mostly annoyance with me.
“You have no idea what you’re talking about,” she snaps. “You have no idea…”
The moment she trails off, I jump back in, unwilling to let go of my questionable gains. “I know how ridiculous it would be for a student who’s been ranked in the top two her entire academic career to bow out a year away from graduation.”
Her voice flattens again, her momentary rancor fading. “Right. And I’d better not be ridiculous.”
I don’t know how to find her again, but something in her dispirited attitude jostles loose memories from my own struggles, from the days when it felt pointless to keep going on, when the obstacles in my path looked like a mountain of boulders poised to tumble down on me.
But I did keep going. I made it through. I made it here. Because Asher needed me, but I can’t give her that kind of motivation.
And also because I couldn’t stand the thought of bowing down.
“Are you going to let them win?” I ask, abruptly and forcefully enough that Elodie flinches.
At least I provoked another glare. “What are you talking about?”
I lean forward, hoarding her attention while I have it. “The assholes who want to stop you, who think they can control your life. Who want to scare you off and break you down. Are you going to let them win? That’s what they’re hoping for, but I didn’t think you were the type to reward them.”
Elodie’s posture straightens, her shoulders drawing back. Her chin lifts with the stubborn jut that’s infuriated me so many times in the past few weeks.
Her hands curl on her lap as if she’s still not sure what to hold on to, but her reply comes out steady enough.
“No, I’m not. I won’t.”
A smile I’m not expecting crosses my face. “Good. Then they won’t stand a chance.”
Thirty-Nine
Elodie
Dad knocks before his voice carries through my bedroom door. “How are you doing, sunshine?”
I snap out of my reverie and poke my head through the walk-in closet’s doorway so he’ll hear me better. “Okay. Just—just looking over those papers from school.”
“Don’t work yourself too hard. Do you think you’ll be up to eating dinner in an hour or so?”
The last thing I’m interested in right now is food, but I can’t tell him what’s actually on my mind. And I don’t want to worry him. “Sure! Sounds good.”
Thinking well does require fuel, after all.
He’s probably glad that I’m no longer wallowing in bed, even if he doesn’t know what I’m really doing. Even if he doesn’t know why I was wallowing in the first place.
I scoot back to the spot where I laid out my objects of interest on the smooth floorboards. Leaning against the frame next toa rack of Other Elodie’s dresses, I consider the tablet with her notes and photos, my own photos on her phone, and the list I’ve scrawled of my discoveries so far.
My pulse kicks up a notch with a vigor I hadn’t known I could still feel. Not until Cole first jolted it into gear with his parting comments this afternoon.
