In the first second after the words leave my mouth, a small hope remains that Daphne will sputter indignantly and tell me off. Instead, her head only dips lower.
She speaks in a low rush. “You didn’t see him—when your mother died, Julien fell apart. He loved her so much. But he loved you too. It was only having you that held him back from the edge, kept him sane. If he lost you, I don’t know…Heneeds you. You see that now, don’t you?”
I go so numb in my horror that I lose control over my tongue. “You brought me here to be my dad’s emotional support daughter?”
“It’s not— It’s good for you too, isn’t it? You havehimhere, and so many things you didn’t have in your world—you can spark with your matches again—everything will be even better?—”
“They aren’tmymatches,” I break in. “I already have my mates, and I need to get back to them, and?—”
The worst thought of all strikes me dumb. I have to swallow twice before I can force out the question. “Canyou even send me back? Is it even possible?”
Daphne stays silent for a long moment. Her answer is little more than a whisper. “No. I found you with my Ellie to guide me, and I brought you here, to a place I’m very familiar with. To try to toss you across the dimensions to a reality I barely know… It was hard enough coming this way.”
“You could at least try?—”
“I have. I’ve searched for the same reality I brought you from. Strained my glim as far as it’ll go. But it’s much easier to search for a thing—or a specific variation of a person—than the absence of that thing. I just don’t have enough of an anchor. I can’t findit.” She finally lifts her gaze to meet my eyes. “There’s nowhere for you to go, Butterfly.”
The certainty in her words crushes me. The muscles in my arm go slack; I sag into my pillow. An acidic flavor creeps up my throat.
“I’m sorry,” Daphne says, and Fenrir flay me, she sounds like she means that too. “I truly thought you’d be happier here. I didn’t know you’d be leaving anything behind.”
She waits a short while, and when I don’t respond, she drifts out of the room again. I stare up at the canopy as if I can transform it to the cracked ceiling of my apartment if I wish hard enough.
It doesn’t change. I’m still just as far from home.
The horror of that fact swells inside until I can’t breathe. I curl up with my legs to my chest and press my face against my knees, but the tears stream out anyway.
I gulp and shake and bawl my eyes out, squeezing myself tight as if I’m the only thing I have to hold on to.
I have all I— I have all?—
I can’t even think my mantra all the way through. It fractures apart with each sob that racks my body.
I have nothing. I have no one.
All the leads I’ve dug up, all the people I’ve talked to, all the threads I’ve tried to weave together—they’re meaningless. No matter what I do, I’m stuck waiting for a killer to take another stab at me, universes away from the men I love.
Thirty-Eight
Colson
My footfalls ring out into the stillness of the senior cafeteria. Each tap of my Oxfords reverberates through my nerves.
It’s too early for any food service yet. Only the wan security lights are glowing overhead, but the ghostly illumination they cast over the vast room feels appropriate.
After all, I’m hunting an aspiring murderer.
The lucent law enforcement officials kept the cafeteria cordoned off for the first two days after Elodie’s poisoning while they carried out their own investigations. No stone should be left unturned for the daughter of one of the community’s most esteemed families.
As far as I heard, they haven’t turned up anything definitive. The poisoner hid his or her tracks well.
None of the detectives know the students and staff, though. I doubt any of them have my skill at divination. The lucentpolice force attempted to recruit me while I was working out the details of my contract with the academy, gushing about what a champion I’d be to the greater good.
As if I give a shit about the community that turned a blind eye while I dragged myself up by my bootstraps and sheltered Asher along the way. I wasn’t worthy of their consideration until they saw they could use me.
I have my own priorities. Like determining who is roaming around my workplace alongside me and my brother with murderous intent.
I doubt Asher would be a target. Then again, if the poisoner realizes that my brother has picked up on some trouble around Elodie…
