The burn spreads up to my eyes. I squeeze the lids tighter, willing the tears away, but they well up anyway.
I’ve made a mess of everything. No clear leads on the murderer, no closer to getting back to my matches, dragging chaos through the lives of the guys who would have belonged to my double, traumatizing my dad…
For what? To just keep doing this until the killer strikes again in some way I can’t fend off?
The duvet suddenly feels ten times as heavy. I push it down to my waist, but the suffocating pressure doesn’t lift from my chest. The effort leaves my arms quivering.
I prowled around this city like I’m some kind of badass, but look how weak I actually am.
The door whispers open. I glance over to see Aunt Daphne peeking inside.
When she confirms I’m awake, she eases in and shuts the door behind her. Her mouth is twisted, her usual frenetic energy more subdued than usual. She paws her wayward hair back from her face and then clasps her slim hands in front of her as if she doesn’t know what else to do with them.
“They came after you again,” she says quietly. “Have you determined who’s responsible?”
Of course that’s the first thing she’d say to me. Not “How are you feeling?” or “Do you need anything?” but “Have you solved that murder I dragged you here to investigate?”
I wish I didn’t feel so feeble with my answer. “No. I haven’t got a clue. I don’t think I’ve even gotten closer to figuring outwhyanyone would want to kill me—her—in the first place.”
Daphne’s grimace deepens. “You must be close. They left you alone for two weeks, and now… Something’s pushed them to lash out.”
“Or else they were just waiting until they were sure I wasn’t going to point the finger at them before they tried again.”
“You can’t think about it that way. There’ll be an answer. You just have to keep?—”
“No.” Bracing myself against the lingering pain, I roll onto my side and prop myself up with one arm so I can properly face her. “I don’thaveto do anything. I never asked to come here in the first place. I’ve tried and tried—you know I have. I’ve done enough.”
Daphne’s eyes twitch away from me and back again. “You can’t mean—you were doing so well until now.”
“No, I wasn’t. The match bonds keep getting harder to ignore, and I almost got killed, and it’s practically destroyed Dad…”
I pause to suck in a breath that sends splinters prickling through my lungs. “You don’t have to care about me, but you care about him, don’t you? This is the perfect time to let the other shoe drop. Say the poison had a secondary effect and wiped me out. Then he won’t have to see me totally recover only to find out I’m dead weeks later.”
Daphne shakes her head with a rustle of her hair. “There’s too much we still don’t know. Haven’t we been good to you here? Isn’t this a good life?”
My jaw drops before I can gather my words. “What the hell does that matter? It isn’tmylife. I have the matches I love waiting for me to come back. I have…” Okay, I don’t have much else, but that’s not the point. “You’ve got an obvious crime now.Professional detectives can follow the clues. You don’t evenneedme. I’m sure whoever’s on the case will do a way better job.”
“It won’t be the same. It won’t—” Daphne lets out a ragged sigh and perches on the edge of the bed, resting her hand near mine. Her gaze feels as penetrating as Dad’s but with a sharper edge. “What would make you feel comfortable continuing? We can work out some accommodations, especially after this incident.”
My frustration bubbles up inside me. “I don’t want accommodations. I want to gohome. If you won’t, then I’ll… Then I’ll tell Dad myself. I’ll tell everyone what you did, what really happened to your Elodie.”
I have no idea whether I could get anyone to believe me, but it must be a valid threat. The color drains from Daphne’s face.
“Please,” she murmurs. “I’ll help you every way I can. Wewillmake sure you’re safe here.”
“That’s not the point. This is my limit. We’re done.”
“I thought…” She presses her fingertips to her temples. “I picked so carefully. Someone with the right sort of temperament and attitudes, but who’d struggled more, who’d lost a lot. Who could be so much happier here. If you’d just let yourself…”
A sudden chill congeals in my chest. Am I understanding her right?
“You chose me out of all the Elodies in all the realities out there because you thought I wasunhappywhere I was?” I demand. The fact that she might not be totally wrong only makes the assumption sting harder. “Why the fuck should that even matter? Why?—”
Why is she fighting so hard when I haven’t actually been making progress? When she does have the perfect opening for professionals to handle the case?
I stare at her. She keeps her eyes averted, trained on her entwined hands.
A horrible understanding smacks me right in the heart. “You wanted someone who’d be happy to stay here forever.”
