“You’re not mad?” Niall sputtered. “That he’s leaving us behind?”
“Youkidding?” Doug asked. “I’m over this band—I’ve been over it for a while now. If Freddie can get out and do his own music—I mean, isn’t that the point of this? Why would I want to hold him back?”
“Thanks, Doug,” Freddie said quietly.
Niall looked around at them, and it was like I could practically feel his fury building. “Fine,” he snapped. “Who needs you? I’mdone.” He paused and looked around, like he was waiting for someone to beg him to stay. When this didn’t happen, his face got even redder and he let out a short, mean laugh. “You think you can perform without me?”
“I think they’ll be fine,” I said, trying to sound more confident than I felt.
Niall whirled around to face me, his eyes narrowed. “You.This is all your fault, isn’t it? Messing with my band…”
“It’s not your band.” I made myself stand up straight, and looked him right in the eye. “And I’ve watched you make this same choice, over and over again. Always this path, the one where you hurt someone who thinks of you as a friend. I don’t know if it’s that you’re scared, or jealous, or just cruel…” Niall shook his head and scoffed. “But our choices matter, you…” I looked over at Artie. “What did you call him?”
“A jumped-up bogan,” he said. “Because he is.”
“Right, that,” I said. “If there’s one thing I’ve learned, this is it—we are the choices we make. They’re what define us. And sometimes—if we’re lucky—we get a chance to make different ones. But you never did.”
Niall just blinked at me for a moment, then shook his head. “Whatever,” he scoffed. “I’m out. Good luck without me, losers!”
He pushed the door open hard as he walked out, and it banged against the wall with a sound that made us all jump.
“Okay, that was a lot,” Alfie said, shaking his head. “Good riddance to bad rubbish.”
“Totally,” Doug agreed. “But…what are we going to do without a lead singer?”
“Freddie can do it,” I said. “Right?”
Freddie gave me a smile, then looked around at his bandmates. “I mean, if you guys are okay with that?…”
“Perfect,” Doug said, picking up his drum sticks and twirling them. “And I know that you’re not going to step on my downbeat like Niall always did.”
“But wait,” Alfie said. “If I can’t go on, we’re just going to have bass and drums. And I’m really not sure that’s going to work.”
I shook my head. “It’s not. You really need a third instrument in there.”
The remainder of Eton Mess looked at each other, and I saw Freddie’s shoulders slump. “So that means—we need to find another musician? In an hour?” I could tell by his tone he thought this was impossible.
Silence fell in the green?room. Then I took a breath and stepped forward. “Will I do?”
You okay?” Freddie asked me.
We were standing backstage, and I could hear the sound of the crowd that had gathered. My palms were sweaty, and this did not seem ideal, especially since I needed them to play an instrument in front of lots of people for the first time ever.
The band had all been on board with me stepping in, even after I told them I hadn’t been playing pianothatlong.
Once we’d decided that I was ?going on, we’d all jumped into action. Freddie took the lyric sheets of the band’s songs and ?wrote in the piano parts for me—letting me know which chords to play when, giving me a cheat sheet. We’d been able to run through the songs quickly, with me working hard to catch up, and when I’d seen the impressed, musician-to-musician looks the rest of the band had exchanged, I couldn’t help but feel a swell of pride.
When we’d gone through the set ?list twice, doing the songs at three times the speed, I’d cleared my throat. “I think there’s one song missing,” I said, meeting Freddie’s eye. “A solo. Right?”
I saw understanding dawn in Freddie’s eyes as he pulled out theFreddiedossier, staring down at the lyrics he’d written. “I mean…” he said, sounding more nervous than I’d yet heard him. “I do have a melody I’ve been playing around with. It might work….”
I gave him a smile, wishing I could tell him for sure how his big moment would turn out. But in this loop, I was just like everyone else—with no idea how things were going to unfold. Just trying to be brave enough, and hopeful enough, to believe it would all work out. Freddie took the keyboard and the lyric sheet off into the corner to work on his song, and before I knew it, it was showtime.
And now, as I stood in the dark of the wings, I felt just how nervous I was getting. All at once, I was realizing that there was a big difference betweensayingI could step in and save the day,? and actually doing it.
“Cass?” Freddie prompted, and I looked over, realizing he’d asked me a question.
I tucked my hair behind my ears, willing it to behave for the next hour. “I think I’m okay? Hopefully?”
