Freddie just blinked at me. “Pardon?”
“Excalibur,”I repeated, more slowly this time.
“Yeah,” Freddie said. He nodded down to his green shirt, withExcalibur!written across it. “I take it you’re a fan of the game, too?”
“No.” I shook my head, wishing that Freddie had decided to put on a different shirt, so me knowing about this wouldn’t just seem like a coincidence. “Excalibur.You told me to say it?”
“I—What?” He glanced around, like he was hoping someone could explain to him what was happening. “I don’t think we’ve met before, have we?”
“Like, three times!” I had to turn away for a second. It was too hard to see Freddie looking at me like I was a stranger, like our whole night had just never happened. Because ithadn’t, for him. Which I knew intellectually, but it didn’t make this hurt any less. But just a little while ago, Freddie—this same person—was looking into my eyes and tucking my hair behind my ear and telling me with confidence that all I needed to say wasExcaliburfor him to understand, to remember, to allow us to skip all of this.
“When was this?” Freddie asked, his brow furrowing.
“Never mind,” I said, trying my best to remember details he’d told me. “So?—you’re Freddie. You have a brother, Jack. You write your song lyrics in your little black notebook. And you told me to sayExcaliburto you—that you’d understand.”
Freddie took a step back, his eyes wide. “Are you a fan of the band, or something? Did you look me up, find out that information about me?”
“No,” I said, shaking my head, hearing my voice rise. “You told it all to me!”
“But we’ve never met before. So…” Freddie shook his head and took another step away from me.
I let out a short breath, trying to temper my frustration. I was realizing too late that I hadn’t thought this through. Freddie had been so confident that I’d just assumed it would work immediately. And I certainly hadn’t wanted to come off like a stalker, which was what I was pretty sure was happening now. But not only did I want him to understand, Ineededhim to, and fast. I had to warn him not to eat something that had vegetables in it and see what could be done about the guitarist with the tummy troubles. Otherwise, he was going to throw away his chance of impressing the music manager.
I shook my head. “I guess I just thought this would be easier.”
Freddie looked genuinely worried now. “Whatwould be easier?”
“Nothing.” I realized all at once that I just had to start this over. I’d messed things up too much to salvage this loop. “I’ll just try again.”
“You will?” Freddie sounded worried. “And?, uh—trywhatagain?”
“Be right back!” I called as I changed direction and headed back toward the exit.
As I walked toward the wooden doors, I couldn’t help but be irritated with myself for believing it would be easy. But I knew better now—and I’d prepare. I’d stop and get my thoughts together first. And then nothing would get in my way—
My feet slowed when I saw Ms. Mulaney in front of me. She was pacing as she talked on the phone, running a hand through her hair. Her eyes were red, and it hurt my heart to see that she looked absolutely crestfallen. “But could you reconsider with some revisions? I could just submit it again?”
I flashed back to the manuscript that I knew, not that long from now, would be in the trash can—that this call was never going to go her way. I walked around her, keeping my head bowed so she wouldn’t see me. Once I was past her, I picked up my pace. I just had to get to the door—
“Cass?”
I winced. I had never disliked the sound of my own name before tonight, but I now realized I was coming to dread it. Every time I heard it, it was like getting a warning a bomb was about to go off. Not sure who I was going to see—but not thrilled about any of the possibilities—I turned around. Reagan, Zach, and McKenna were standing in front of me.
“Hey, guys,” I said, trying my best to muster a smile but not sure I succeeded. “Enjoying Grad Nite?”
“Uh,” Reagan said, looking freaked out. “Wewere.”
“I can’t believe you’re here,” Zach said, sounding rattled.
“What’s the big deal?” McKenna asked. “Hi, I’m McKenna.”
“Cass,” I said, giving her a nod.
“How are you ?acting like this is just normal?” Reagan asked, folding their arms across their chest. “Like you didn’t just vanish into the ether when you left our lives.”
“Wait, what?” McKenna asked, looking intrigued now.
“We’ll catch up later, okay?” I started to walk again.
