“You know, I spent a really long time trying to figure out what I’d done wrong,” Bruce went on. “If I’d hurt you in some way. But I couldn’t think of anything, which meant I couldn’t understand why you would just ghost like that.”
I opened my mouth to reply?—but before I could, Bruce turned and walked away.
I took a shaky breath, trying to pull myself together. Between all the people I’d run into tonight, that had been the worst. I glanced at my friends—Bryony and the Emmas were all staring at me like they’d just witnessed a car crash. I swallowed hard, and forced out a laugh. “So, that was weird, huh?”
“It’s not the word I’d use,” Bryony said. She shook her head, and when she spoke it was like she was putting something together. “It seems like you do this a lot, Cass? Right? You just…disappear.”
Emma R. looked from me to Bryony and then, maybe finally picking up on the vibes, turned away and pretended to be absorbed in her phone.
I knew I was on unsteady ground—a foreign land I wasn’t entirely sure how I ended up in but was very certain I didn’t much like. “It’s simpler,” I finally said. “Otherwise friendships just fall apart slowly and you lose touch and become strangers….” My voice started to wobble.
A group of happy, loud seniors, all wearing different college sweatshirts—probably indicating where they were going next year—ran past us, yelling and laughing. When they’d passed out of sight, I took a breath and made myself finish. “It’s just better this way, okay?”
“Better for who?” Bryony asked, then paused. “Whom?”
“Probably? But it sounds pretentious.”
She laughed, then caught herself. “No,” she said, her voice firm. “Maybe it’s better foryou. But based on the people we ran into tonight, they were pretty upset. They didn’t just get over it.”
I shook my head, but even as I did, I was flashing back to Reagan’s expression, and the truth that I hadn’t wanted to process—that they weren’t really mad about the churros. The betrayal on Greta and Nora’s faces—their shock and hurt when they saw me. It was all piercing through the protective layers I’d had built up around me for so long, letting in light I’d fought to keep out. “But…”
“Before, you said you couldn’t go to the concert,” Bryony said slowly. “And you haven’t committed to any of our summer travel plans….” It was like I could practically hear the wheels turning in her head, and I started to get a very bad feeling. “Are you leaving, Cass? Are you going to ditch me the way you’ve ditched everyone else?”
I opened my mouth to reply, my heart beating hard. All I had wanted was for us to have one fun last night together! Why was this happening? “I…No,” I said, but even I could hear it sounded unconvincing.
“Did you even apply to the Mermaid Café?” Bryony asked, crossing her arms over her chest. “Or did you lie about that?”
“It’s…I…”
“Show me,” Bryony said, and I could hear the hurt in her voice as clear as anything. “If you really applied. Show me the email. Show me you haven’t been lying to me. Formonths.”
Hot tears stung my eyes. I had no idea how to get out of this. I had no idea that it would feel this bad, having to stand here and see the look of betrayal on Bryony’s face. But there was nothing else to do—?except tell the truth.
“We’re moving to Oregon,” I made myself say. “Tomorrow.”
“Tomorrow?” She stared at me, the color draining from her face as she processed this. “Really?”
I swallowed hard and nodded, and I felt in the silence that followed the depth of this hurt I was causing.
Bryony was looking at me like she had no idea who I was. “But you knew better than anyone how hard it was for me when everyone ditched me after my breakup. And you were still going to leave? Without even saying goodbye?” Her voice broke on the last word.
Even though we were outside, it suddenly felt like there wasn’t quite enough air, like the walls were closing in on me. I started backing away, and Bryony’s jaw dropped open. “You’re really going to walk away?” she asked, incredulously. “Seriously?”
I knew I shouldn’t, but I didn’t know what else to do. I turned and hurried away from the stage, like if I kept moving, I could outrun this awful moment.
I didn’t know where I was going, but I knew I couldn’t be there any longer. I broke into a run. Tears blurred my vision as everything that had happened tonight felt like it was hitting me at once. All I knew was that I had to go, get out, find somewhere that I wouldn’t be confronted, at every turn, with all these people from my past. I didn’t understand why they were all cropping up here, on what should have been an amazing night, at what was literally the happiest place on earth.
And even though I knew it wasn’t anywhere near the top of things that were going wrong right now, the thought that I wouldn’t ever get to see Freddie again was hitting me hard, disappointment mingling with all the rest of my jumbled feelings.
I didn’t have anything close to resembling a plan. I just knew Bryony was furious at me, and any hope I’d had for having one last amazing ?adventure with her at Grad Nite was ruined. And so why would I want to stay, surrounded by people who were mad at me, knowing that my presence was just making their nights worse? I was going to leave everyone from Harbor Cove High behind tomorrow anyway; I’d just get started on it a little early. There was no point in sticking around. I wasoutof there.
I slowed my steps, brushed my hand across my eyes, and looked around. I’d made it to Carthay Circle. I tried to get my thoughts together, make a plan. I needed to find this faculty lounge and tell Ms. Mulaney I was sick or something. I didn’t care that it meant I wouldn’t be able to come back to Grad Nite. As far as I was concerned, that was a pro, not a con. I’d just get an Uber home. And tomorrow I’d head to Oregon, and I’d try to forget that any of this had ever happened.
I saw a cast member standing across the road from me and started to make my way to them—surely they’d tell me where the faculty lounge was.
But before I could make it over to them, there was suddenly a group of cast members running fast toward me, surrounding someone. I took a step back, out of the way, and saw that people were following the cast members, phones out, recording and taking pictures.
This must have been the celebrity—it seems one had been here after all. I looked around, trying to see who it was, but they were already gone.
