But Bryony explained to me, her face serious, not only was it possible, it was a school tradition. Harbor Cove High had been doing Disney Grad Nite since it basically started in the 1960s. And since the administration knew how much HCH students looked forward to it, it was the way they kept the senior class in line. Too many participants in Senior Skip Day? No Grad Nite. Senior pranks getting out of hand? No Grad Nite. People misbehaved at prom? You guessed it. But we’d stayed on our best behavior all spring, which meant Grad Nite was happening—tonight, in just a few hours.
I couldn’t stop myself from taking a peek at my phone to check the time. Even though I hadn’t been looking forward to this for years, like my classmates, I was still beyond excited. I quickly opened up my phone and took a selfie of me smiling, then sent it to Bryony with the message
SEE YOU SOON YAY
I kept the camera on me for just a moment longer, making sure that I didn’t have anything in my teeth. There I was—Cassandra Elle Issac, eighteen years and three months old. I was just a hair under 5'5", with green-brown eyes, freckles, and slightly crooked teeth, which seemed incredibly unfair, given how long I’d spent in braces in middle school. At various schools over the years, I’d tried out different versions of my name. My dads had called me Cassie when I was little. And for a while in elementary school, I changed it with every new move: Cassandra and Cassie and Casey and Sandra and Andra and Andie and Sandy and Sandie, then back to Cassandra again. But during one fifth grade math class, I’d realized that if I went by Cass Issac, my name made a loop—a combined-name palindrome. Since that day, I hadn’t gone by anything else. I’d even gotten it monogrammed in a circle on the white purse that was currently resting at my feet. It had taken alotof emails back and forth with the Etsy seller, explaining what I wanted, but in the end it had been worth it.
I smoothed down my hair, which had a mind of its own. It was light brown, long and curly, and it had taken me years, but I’d finally figured out how best to handle it? so that it behaved at least half the time. I’d tried to thread the line tonight between a cute outfit and one that I could run around an amusement park in. So, I was in a short, flower-printed dress with three-quarter-length sleeves, my favorite embroidered sneakers, and a? jean jacket in case it got cold.
“Cass?”
I set my phone down and glanced up. Both my dads were looking at me, our waitress hovering near the table. “Sorry,” I said quickly. “What?”
“Are you done?” Oscar asked.
“All set,” I said, laying my fork and knife across my plate. “Thanks so much.” The waitress cleared our plates, and Angelo leaned forward across the table.
“I hope you have a great time,” Angelo said, smiling at me. “Even if we can’t tag along.”
I laughed. “Thanks, Pop.”
“You’re just lucky, kid,” Oscar said, sighing wistfully. “It’s the kind of night that only comes around once. Make sure you take lots of pictures, okay?”
“And I’m happy you get to have this time with your friends,” Angelo said, exchanging a look with Oscar. His smile had started to dim a little. “Especially since…well…”
I nodded, too, and looked down at the table. I’d expected that I’d be able to stay in Harbor Cove until I went to UC ?Berkeley in the fall. But three weeks ago, my dads had sat me down at the kitchen island. Oscar had turned his laptop around so I could see it—the next house they’d found to renovate. In retrospect, I really should have known this would happen. The Harbor Cove house was looking great—nearly done, the work moving fast, everything coming together. ?But I was still surprised as I stared at the pictures in front of me.
“It’s in Oregon,” Angelo ?said, sitting down on the stool next to me.
“Oregon?” ?I echoed, feeling my stomach drop. I had been hoping, vaguely, that maybe work on our current house would take us all the way through the summer. Or that their next project would be somewhere around here.
“Obviously, since this house hasn’t sold yet, we’ll be back a bit. But we really need to get started as soon as possible.”
“We had hoped that maybe you could have the whole summer in Harbor Cove,” Oscar ?said, exchanging an unhappy look with Angelo. “But we couldn’t wait on this one.”
“But you’ll be able to see your friends when we come back to deal with the sale,” Angelo ?added, sounding like someone trying very hard to find the bright side.
?I nodded, turning all this over in my mind. I looked around the kitchen—it was absolutely perfect. The paint was fresh, the brass drawer pulls bright and shiny and scratch-free. And as ?I took it in, ?I realized that this was the best it would ever be. It could really only go downhill from here—it would get messy and stained and lived in. It would never look as good as it did right now. And all at once, my situation suddenly seemed very clear. Was there any sense in sticking around when there would only be diminishing returns? Wasn’t the very best thing to do to leave when things were at their peak?
“It’s okay,” ?I said. “And I might not really be able to come back much. I’m sure I’ll be busy with stuff in Oregon and getting ready for school. So, it’s fine. I promise.”
“Are you sure?” Oscar ?asked, his expression skeptical.
“Yes,” ?I said quickly. I didn’t want to dwell on this. I needed to keep looking forward—looking back would only make it that much harder. “I’m leaving for college in the fall anyway, and besides, I’ve only been here six months. It’s not like I’m leaving a place I’ve been forever.”
?They both took a breath at the same time, like they were preparing to argue with me, when Oscar’s phone rang with a permit update from the contractor, and they snapped back into work mode, and we all moved on.
So, we’d be flying to Oregon in the morning, to begin the whole process all over again—turning something that was just potential into something shiny and special and perfect.
“Don’t worry about it,” I said now as I folded my napkin and laid it across the table. I gave them both a big smile. “I promise I’m fine.”
“You never told us how Bryony took it when you told her we were moving,” Oscar said, giving me a sympathetic grimace. “Was she okay?”
“Did you tell her you could come back and visit?” Angelo asked. “And that she can come and visit us?”
I looked down and concentrated for a moment on smoothing out any wrinkles in my napkin. “Sure. I mean, she was sad, but she totally understood.” I glanced up, relieved to see that the waitress was here and handing out dessert menus. I took mine and focused on it, like I was really having trouble deciding between the German chocolate cake and the mixed berry plate. Which, I mean, there wasn’t even a question. Chocolate cake all the way. But the truth was…I hadn’t actually told Bryony I was leaving.
I’d thought about it, of course. And it had been hard to keep it to myself, especially when she talked about summer plans—plans that she assumed I would be around for. But in the end, I’d decided a clean break was the best way to handle it.
