“Yes, I did,” he said. “You smiled at me, and I remembered I fucking love you more than life.”
He kissed her hard, and AJ tightened around his fingers.
Three.
He stood, stripping out of his own clothes in the firelight, his skin golden and black with shadow. He was fully aroused, and for a moment all AJ could think was that this room had no drapes and the walls were made of windows.
Then he knelt down between her legs, nudging them open with his knees, and she didn’t care anymore. He pulled into her slowly, but hedidn’t move. His hand swept over her face, then settled on the rug beside her. He was holding himself at bay.
“When we were younger,” he said. To test his resolve, AJ moved against him and watched. His eyes sank closed, but he didn’t budge.
“When we used to dance together,” he said, strain in his voice as AJ ground against him in frustration. She felt him pulse, but he held his hips steady.
“It would have been easy. Sometimes, I actually felt you go limp in my arms. I still dream about this one time—we were alone, and you got this look like you were close. Like if I just held on to you a little longer, let you feel me—”
AJ groaned, squeezing against him. “Why didn’t you?”
Noah closed his eyes. “Because you trusted me, and I didn’t want to mess with that,” he said. His eyes opened, bleary. “And I thought we had all the time in the world.”
He gasped as AJ increased her speed, fucking him from beneath, but still he didn’t move. “I’ve never understood it,” he said. “I’ve always liked you so much, but the way I want you isn’t nice at all. It’s brutal and relentless, and you were so young. I didn’t want to scare you—”
“Because you’re a good guy,” said AJ, panting.
“I was a goddamn saint,” said Noah, and finally he moved in her, just once, and—
Four.
AJ was lava as he began to roll his hips into hers. He pushed one of her knees back so that he could get closer, and AJ raked her fingers through his hair. He groaned as their lips met, and AJ could feel him slowing down to get ahold of himself. AJ couldn’t have that.
“You were right,” she whispered. “That time we were alone, Iwasclose.”
“How close?” he said, his voice tight.
AJ raised herself up to his ear. “This wasn’t my first accident.”
“Oh fuck—”
Five.
They were rarely apartfor more than an hour; when one was doing something, the other inevitably joined. Taking out the trash, changing sheets, and retrieving mail all became two-person jobs. Even the most mundane chore felt like a party when they were doing it together.
One night, when AJ volunteered to walk Bud, Noah somehow wound up with them. They strolled through the garden slowly because Bud was old, and because she had a lot of important things to sniff. When the dog looked up at Noah as if to sayCarry me,he squatted to retrieve her.
As Bud curled up in his arms, Noah threw AJ an amused look. “You are staring at my legs.”
AJ blushed in the twilight. “I am not.” She absolutely was. She loved them—and beyond that, she loved that she had landed in a version of existence where she got to see them in gym shorts.
“It’s okay to like a bit of exposed leg,” Noah teased. “You’re like a horny Victorian. It’s cute.”
AJ wanted to crawl inside her hope chest. “I was looking at Bud,” she said defiantly. “How long have you been her royal palanquin bearer?”
Noah petted the dog tenderly. “Forever,” he said. “Of course, she does tire more easily, now that she’s ancient.Thirteen.”
“Remember how you almost didn’t keep her,” AJ mused.
Noah looked up, his eyes suddenly serious. “I think about that at least once a day.”
His intensity took AJ’s breath away. “You’ve given her a great life,” she finally managed.
