Elle gave her shoulders a shake, lifting her chin. “The truth is, there’s no such thing as a normal life. There’s just the time you get and how you spend it.” She looked at AJ, eyes brimming, and placed a hand on her arm. “Love isalwaysa risk,” she said quietly, in answer to the questions AJ hadn’t asked.
AJ nodded, tearing up herself. “I’m glad he has you.”
Elle smiled wearily. “In sickness and in health, right?” she said, looking inside toward Brian. “You get it.” AJ chewed her lip, watching Brian through the glass, trying to imagine ifhewere the one who’d been wounded. Ifshewere to end up a caregiver, but for the wrong man…
AJ gave herself a shake. There was no other man.
“How’s the planning going, by the way?” asked Elle.
AJ and Brian were supposed to sit down to pick a wedding date this weekend. Theywouldsit down this weekend. “I was actually thinking of asking your mom what’s involved in a full moon circle.”
“You know those are nude, right?” said Elle.
AJ cackled. “For some reason, I can’t see Brian going for that.”
Elle laughed. “Well, then maybe he’s not the guy,” she joked, taking the now-empty can from AJ’s hand. “Shall we go back in?”
AJ smiled to camouflage the way Elle’s joke had turned her stomach.
New York, new york
February 24, 2013
Brian lived at Fifty-second andNinth, a half-hour walk from AJ’s apartment. It was well below freezing as she set out for theappointmenthe’d made with her earlier that week.
AJ—I’ve been thinking,he’d texted.It’s been over a year since we got engaged. Shouldn’t we pick a date? Sunday at 8, my place.
It was frigid as she hiked past gyms and rental studios and bars she’d loved in her early twenties. She could say that now, she was twenty-nine. The age her mother had been when she had AJ and Emily, which seemed like a joke. It was a perfect age to get married, not too old, not too young.
So why did AJ feel like she was being rushed?
AJ had twelve minutes to spare when she passed Hibernia, a Steelers pub two blocks from Brian’s. The TV above the bar was showing the Oscars. That had been her last drink, the Oscars.
AJ toyed with her scarf. She had a pitch meeting in the morning—she shouldat leastsee the opening monologue. Casually, AJ stepped inside.
She had not been surprised to see Noah’s name on the list of BestActor nominees for the second year running.The New York Timeshad likened hisByronperformance to the majesty of a polar iceberg:Drew is both the bright brilliance dazzling above the surface and the precipitous devastation lurking just below.
“Can I get you anything?” asked the bartender.
AJ checked the time. She could be a little late. It wasn’t like she was keeping Brian from what he was surely doing: watching sports and drinking.
Beer doesn’t count, right?
“Allagash White,” said AJ, placing her money on the counter.
After Blue Con, AJ had done a full #Arho detox, blocking the forums and unfollowing the hashtags. But there was no avoidingByron.Noah’s face had been everywhere—bus wraps, subway tunnels, taxi tops, magazine stands—always with the same knowing, brooding expression.
So when the camera found him in the crowd, AJ was surprised by how intimate it felt. The tuxedo was back. He looked good, he always did. And there was Allison Seabring’s dirty-blond bob on his right and Eudora’s frosted French twist on his left. Noah’s eyes shone as he inclined his head toward his aunt. Risa had earned her Chopt tonight; seeing them together was adorable.
Now Allison was leaning in to join their conversation, Eudora smiling at her in welcome.You only get one.AJ cringed. Eudora probably didn’t even remember saying that to her. Allison had also been nominated tonight. Maybe AJ would just stay until Best Supporting Actress.
Have you eaten?Brian texted.
Eating now,AJ texted back.Be there soon.
The Allagash was light and soothing, exactly how AJ remembered. She nursed one for the first three awards. But when Allison won, she chugged a second through her acceptance speech (“Noah, you are my rock”), then a third for good measure.
Then, she ordered a deep-dish pizza.
