"Let's discuss the real reason why you're avoiding having sex with me."
"I'm not avoiding it."
"So you want me to spell it out for you?" she asks.
I stare at the falling blue sand.
She blurts out, "You're afraid that if we return to being us at home, we'll have to figure out our real problem."
I snap my gaze toward her. "What's our real problem?"
"How the world finds out about us being together," she asserts.
I freeze, and my mouth turns dry. My pulse bangs between my ears.
Her lips curve. "There we go. The real issue."
"Blue—"
"No, Red. My family isn't going away. We're not going away. It's time we tell them and get it over with so we can move on with our lives," she claims, her voice rising.
I swallow hard. "You know it's not that easy."
She points at me. "You're making it impossible. It's not."
I shift in my seat. "I understand we need to figure that issue out. And we will."
"When, Red?"
I admit, "I can't give you a date."
She scoffs, and her eyes turn to darts, aimed at me.
"We need to figure out a plan," I offer.
Blue's shoulders rise and fall with each sharp breath, her eyes locked on mine like she's daring me to back down. "A plan? That's your answer? We've been circling this for weeks, Red. Months, if I'm honest. You talk about boundaries and trust and rebuilding, but this is the wall you won't climb."
I lean forward on the couch, hands clasped to keep them steady. "It's not a wall. It's caution. Your family aren't just people we can drop a bomb on and walk away. One wrong word, and everything shatters. My practice, your stability, us."
She slams the pen down on my desk, the sound cracking through the room. "Caution? That's cowardice dressed up in therapy speak. You love me, right? You've said it a hundred times in this office, in my bed, in whispers when no one's around. But out there?" She jabs a finger toward the window. "Out there, I'm still your dirty secret."
My jaw clenches. "You're not my dirty secret. You're everything to me. But timing matters. We rush this, and the fallout?—"
"Fallout?" Her voice pitches higher, cracking at the edges. "You mean like how my brother might punch you? Or how my parents might want to disown me for screwing my therapist? Yeah, I get it. But hiding isn't protecting us. It's killing us slowly." Tears glitter in her eyes, pooling but not spilling. She blinks hard, swiping at them with the back of her hand.
I stand, closing the distance in two steps, but she holds up a palm, stopping me cold. I insist, "Blue, listen. We can map this out. Figure out how to tell your father without getting me killed."
She shakes her head, lips trembling. "No more tests. No more plans that never happen. You won't fuck me. And you won't tell anyone you love me. So what do we have, Dr. Mercer?"
I stay silent.
She tearfully laughs. "I'll tell you what we have. We have nothing."
"Blue—"
"No. I'm done waiting for you to grow a spine." She rises and grabs her purse.
The words hit like a gut punch, stealing my air. I never considered myself a coward.
