"Don't tell me it's not possible!" I choke out.
"Shh. I didn't say that," she replies.
I sniffle and pull back. "What am I going to do?"
She takes a deep breath and smiles. "I don't have the answers right now, but sometimes, we need space to figure things out. You're smart, Blue. And lucky for you, so am I." She grins bigger and winks.
A wet laugh comes out of me.
Her face falls. "If this is what you want, then we'll figure it out. And I know you love him, but give him some space. Let him miss you. If it's meant to be, everything will work out."
"It will?" I ask.
She nods. "Yes. Pinky promise!" She holds out her pinky.
A tiny smile curls at my lips. I link my finger with hers. "Thanks."
"Okay. Let's get out of here and get you home." She rises and holds her hand out.
I take it and let her help me stand. She leads me out of the house and to the SUV waiting in the driveway.
We get into the back of the car. The divider window is tinted and closed. The hour-long drive back to the city is quiet, with Demi glancing at me with her concerned look from time to time.
We don't turn on any music. She doesn't fill the space with advice or questions. The tires hum against the road, steady and dull, and the city passes by in streaks of gray and amber through the windshield.
I stare straight ahead, blanket folded in my lap, hands tucked into the sleeves of my sweater. My thighs ache beneath the fabric, a sharp reminder I can't forget even when I try.
At a stoplight, Demi glances at me. Her eyes flick down, then away again too fast, and heat crawls up my neck. She saw the blood. I know she did. I press my knees together harder, shame tightening my chest until my breath shortens again.
"I'm okay," I say, my voice thin but steady enough to pass. "I just want to be alone for a bit."
She doesn't answer right away. The light turns green, and the SUV eases forward.
"I can stay with you," she says.
I shake my head. "I'll be fine. I swear."
She exhales through her nose and nods once. "I need you to promise me something."
I look at her, and the concern on her face makes my stomach drop.
She pinches her eyebrows together. "I need you to promise you won't hurt yourself. No scratching. No knives. No stupid ideas."
My throat closes. The words scrape on the way out. "I promise."
She doesn't let it go. The SUV pulls into my building's parking garage, and the driver puts the car in park. The driver opens the door, but Demi knocks on the divider window, and it shuts before he can get out.
She orders, "Look at me, Blue."
I turn toward her.
"Promise me again you won't hurt yourself," she demands.
My eyes burn, but I hold her gaze. "I promise I won't hurt myself."
She studies my face, searching for cracks, then nods. "If you break that promise, I'm showing up whether you want me to or not."
A small, broken laugh slips out of me. "I know."
