I hold my breath, processing what she's detailing out.
She continues, "They'll be at my beck and call, always ready to serve and satisfy me, always trying to prove they belong in my lovers' circle."
I release a heavy breath. "That sounds exhausting."
Her mouth curves. "It's efficient."
"And you think a group of men would be okay sharing you? Or don't they know about the others?" I ask.
"Oh, they know about all of them. At first, it drives them nuts, but then they realize it's what I need. So they don't learn how to cope. They learn how to lean into it. Otherwise, they wouldn't stay. And I don't trap men. I attract them."
I blurt out, "You don't want one person to build a life with you?"
"No. I want a life built around me."
I absorb her statement, turning it over slowly. "And Nikolai fits into this vision?"
Her smile turns knowing. "Perfectly."
"Because he resists?"
"Because he holds the line. Until he doesn't."
"So love isn't in the cards?" I question, unable to fathom no love. It's all I've ever wanted.
She shrugs. "Maybe. If love really exists."
"It does," I maintain.
"Mmm, I don't know. Obsession definitely exists. I often wonder if people confuse it for love."
I exhale. "You're terrifying."
She reaches over and squeezes my hand. "Only to people who think love is everything."
I meet her gaze, agreeing, "For me, it is."
She nods, sincere. "And that's why I'll always protect what you love."
"Thanks."
The room settles into quiet after that, heavy but steady, the kind that doesn't demand resolution. We're on different paths, but we both understand loyalty, protection, and obsession.
She declares, "Mikhail is wrong."
"About?"
She leans back into the sofa. "Mikhail thinks isolation fixes everything. He's wrong."
My pulse quickens.
She warns, "But you have to stay discreet until it's safe for you to go public with Dr. Mercer."
"Agree."
She reaches into her coat pocket and sets it on the cushion. "I know how you can see Red."
My breath catches. "How?"
