A small window in the wall above us opened up. Ludwig’s face poked through.
The scene was maddeningly confusing, but I was too numb with loss. We had survived, yes, but what now? I felt like I was underwater; the world around me was still moving, but I was in slow motion, barely able to keep up.
“Glad I found you when I did. You two hold on tight. I’ll getus somewhere safe to sleep for the night and then to Dwindle by sunrise. The horsies keep us nice and safe on Irk. No need to worry. Off we go!” He slammed the flap shut without another word, and the horses started up at an impressive speed.
Hesper was unnaturally still, staring at me with a blank expression in her eyes. I looked away and tried to take stock of our surroundings, a feeble attempt at tethering myself back into the here and now.
The wagon had a bed for a floor, one candle burning, and dark wood panels all around us. No one would ever know Golden Isles horses, the rarest beasts in Nestryia, pulled such a simple space. How they were here, I didn’t know. How Ludwig was here, I didn’t know. I couldn’t find it in myself to care.
How Hesper was now standing, I didn’t know. She had suffered major damage in that explosion. That, I did care for, even as my body tried to mute itself from the pain of losing our one shot at this quest.
“Are you all right?” I asked, still reeling from Hesper’s lifeless body only moments ago.
“Doesn’t matter,” she clipped, wiping blood away from a cut on her head. She looked me over, ripped a piece of her tunic with her teeth, and made her way over to me, blotting the blood on my nose away.
We were inches away from each other; I could feel her warmth cover my body, yet she was somewhere else entirely.
“Are you hurting? Do you need—”
“No,” she cut in. Her jaw was set, her eyes dark.
She didn’t elaborate; I didn’t press her for more.
“Anything broken?” she asked, barely looking at me and chewing on her cheek.
“No,” I said quickly.
But truthfully, yes. I was broken. The seeds were gone, my books were gone, my journal was gone. Everything was gone, turned to ash.
“Good” was all she said before sitting back down.
“What’s wrong?” I asked. Was she in pain? Why was she acting so differently?
“Doesn’t matter,” she repeated, staring at the floorboards.
The wagon came to a sudden stop, sending Hesper and me both tumbling to the straw mattress. Quick footsteps sounded outside, then Ludwig appeared, wrenching open the door flaps.
“Fast horsies,” he grinned. “We’ll set up camp for the night.”
Hesper didn’t reply, and I had no ability to drum up new words. I felt out-of-body, but we wouldn’t still be here were it not for Ludwig. I forced the words out of my mouth, knowing I sounded distant even as I said them.
“Thank you, Ludwig. For everything. You saved our lives—”
He cut me off before I could say anything more.
“Now, now, no need to thank me. I’m just doing my duty.”
“You are?” I asked, but in truth, I had no more room in my mind for his answers.
I couldn’t comprehend a single topic volleying my way. Grief was overriding my system, and I was desperate to be alone. I needed to think, I needed to reformulate a plan. More than anything, though, I needed to sequester away with my own thoughts, let hopelessness course through me. Being around people when I was in anything other than tip-top shape had never been my preference. In Moss, if I was dealing with anything difficult or old wounds from the past hadreopened, I’d hole up in my cottage for days on end—sadness unfettered and unending.
I craved that solitude so badly at this moment, it made my chest ache. But there was a Ludwig beaming in front of me, and a Hesper by my side.
“Oh, yes.” His loose front tooth wiggled, and he looked contemplatively at the sky. “I am Keeper of Irk Road and all!” he said cheerily.
“What?” I asked, a bit of the numbness giving way to surprise. That had to be impossible. He lived in Moss; I saw him almost every day. He couldn’t possibly have traveled to and from Irk that often. “I don’t understand.”
“Not all questions have answers!” he replied, still looking at the sky, his throat bobbing. “But, to quench a few of yours: I provide safe passage along Irk to those wishing to do good. The horses sense that, not me. It was happenstance that we found you when we did, though. Well, the flowers helped. Quite mesmerizing they were, all those little yellow jewels leading us right to a big ole fire. That, I suppose, was the Fates. Those old gals always know best.”
