Hesper began to protest, but I put up a hand, stopping her.
“I don’t care what Eldrene said. You are coming on this journey with me, and you will probably die on the damned journey. But you are not sleeping in my bedroom.Ever,” I said each word with deadly precision.
“Suit yourself.” She held up both hands in surrender for the second time tonight. “Where would you like me to sleep?” She looked around the room, no doubt noticing that the floor offered the only viable place for slumber. I only had two kitchen chairs and a deep window ledge that I read on.
“I’m sure you’ll figure it out,” I said with a fake smile.
“Ah, so make myself at home, then? I prefer that guest treatment to be honest, especially when staying overnight.” She winked. “No beating around the bush, no tentative manners. Just straight to it.” Somehow, everything she said sounded like a euphemism.
“Youare not a guest, Hesper, you are a nuisance.” She laughed at my insult. “And, if you must know, I don’t have overnight guests.” I began climbing up the ladder again, ready for this conversation to be over with.
“Never?”
“Never!” I shouted, now fully into my attic room.
“So you’ve never had a lover?”
Have I never had a lover? What, did she think that just because I never let people stay the night at my house, it somehow meant I didn’t have sex? I shouldn’t have entertained the offer of another fight. But being that cold put me in the mood for another fight anyhow. I couldn’t control my fate, but I could control my anger—or choose not to control it at all.
I stuck my head through the attic floor opening, the entire world flipping upside down. Hesper turned her head to the side, trying to look me in the eyes, her hands braced on my countercasually. Wet hair plastered my face, and I tried to wipe it away with minimal success.
“I’ll have you know, I have hadplentyof lovers. More than you, I’m sure.” I spoke from a place of truly zero knowledge and, frankly, out of my own ass. She looked well-tousled and highly experienced in most things. In fact, every word that left my mouth embarrassed me, but I was begging for another fight at this point.
“You’re probably right, princess. With the way you look, I’m sure you get all kinds of folk begging at your door,” she said, her words clipped now.
“Quit calling me a princess. It’s not funny.” I didn’t need her reminding me how incongruous I looked in this dress—a nettle adorned with roses. My head started to swim from being upside down for too long. “And yes, I do,” I said. My only preference for taking a lover was that we had a merry time, they went on their merry way, and I was left to my merry solitude.
A muscle feathered in Hesper’s cheek.
“Good to know,” she replied, never breaking eye contact with me.
“Yes,” I said quietly. Nothing kept me here in this highly compromising position, but I stayed, wanting to look at her face awhile longer. Whether it was to see if I’d made her mad or something else entirely, I didn’t quite know.
A cold shiver quaked through my body. I needed to get out of these clothes, and fast. Catching a cold before leaving for Dwindle was the last thing I needed. I wanted to be in the utmost health to relish these last two weeks.
Guilt gnawed at the edges of my insides.
Fraud, no magic.
Who was I kidding? There would be no relishing these last two weeks in Moss. Rosie could never find out that I lied to her our entire friendship. And I didn’t think I could bear seeing her face and not telling her the truth—that I might not be coming back.
Perhaps Eldrene gave me so much time to “set my affairs in order” because she knew how dearly I loved Moss and needed the time to grieve.
Or perhaps Eldrene knew that I’d faked it all along. That my magic was because of Moss and nothing else. And this whole quest was to uncover that Clara Thorne—the beloved Town Gardener—was really not much at all.
Or perhaps I didn’t have the capacity to think clearly because of the night’s events and the morning would bring with it another thing to fret over and one less thing to remember. Another chill ran through me.
“Please get warm,” Hesper said, worry creasing her eyes.
If I could have slapped the worry off of her face, I would have. But there were one too many crossbows in my cottage for me to feel comfortable brawling outright, and I had a feeling she’d like that too much.
I made my way up into the attic without another word. Warty attempted to start a feeble fire in my hearth, but the embers were already sizzling out. It was an unfortunately cool night in the cottage, and I didn’t have the energy to try again after the day’s events. I’d bundle up instead.
A small ladder was propped up against my armoire, host to a myriad of quilts. Some I’d found and some I’d made from scrap clothing. They weren’t pretty, but they got the job done. Just like me. I tossed all of them onto my bed and finally stripped off the soaking dress.
I gingerly set the dress atop my desk chair in hopes it might dry overnight. Sweet Rosie, she went to so much trouble for me this evening. And look how it all ended up. The brilliant green of the dress was already faded due to the water, and the gold edges were tattered and fraying.
Throwing on my warmest nightgown, I climbed underneath my covers. Warty snuggled up beside me, snoring before hisquills hit the pillow. Sleep crept up on me, delicious nothingness clouding my brain. But one last shiver made me think of Hesper downstairs in all this cold. The attic was a bit warmer, but downstairs had a draft even in the dead of summer.
