This was not that.
My skin registered both of their gazes like heat sources, distinct, and the warmth already building low in my belly surged in response. The fabric of my shift seemed to press uncomfortably against my skin, every thread noticeable. The pain that started on the stairs had escalated, and I pressed my thighs together to cope with its urgent demand.
My mouth had gone dry.
I was aware of my own pulse in places I had never been particularly aware of it before—the inside of my wrists, my throat, low in my abdomen where the heat had staked its claim and was expanding outward in waves of heat and liquid. The air between us was thicker than it had been a moment ago, or my senses had sharpened past what was comfortable, because I could smell them both. Thane, rain and ozone, like a storm about to break. And Malric, something darker and more settled, cedar and iron and warmth, a scent that my body had apparently cataloged in thorough detail without consulting me.
My legs were not entirely steady.
I locked my knees and breathed through my nose, and immediately regretted it as more of their scent invaded me, surrounded me. More of the thick warm scent of the room and the pull of two alphas watching me with their composure visibly fraying at the edges, and the heat answered all of it with a pulse so sharp my breath caught audibly in the quiet.
My body knew exactly what it wanted and was becoming increasingly unwilling to wait for my mind to finish deliberating. But these men had said they wanted my consent. I had to makethe final decision. I may not have had a lot of experience outside of the tower, but I trusted my mother, trusted the tower. It had been there for me for my entire life. These men felt like they were already part of my soul. I had no other choice. I didn’t want another one.
“My heat is starting,” I said. “I know what that means now. I know what’s coming.” I looked at them steadily, or as steadily as I could manage, with warmth climbing up my spine and my skin registering every shift in the air of the room. “I want to spend it with you. Both of you.” I paused. “Please.”
Thane exhaled slowly, relief flashing in his eyes. But he didn’t move, only glanced at Malric.
Malric took one step forward. Just one, measured and deliberate, so close that I had to tilt my head to look at him. Then he did something unexpected. He knelt in front of me and took my hand, engulfing it in both of his.
“I would be honored to help you through your heat.”
The wordhonoredhit me with a sincerity that I didn’t expect. For a man like Malric to bend the knee to me, it hit me harder than I could have ever predicted.
“I don’t just want you for my heat.”
Neither of them moved and they both held their breaths, hope written on their faces.
I pressed forward before the fear could steal my words. “I want to bond with you. Both of you.” I held Malric’s gaze and continued before he could interrupt. “I know what I’m asking. I understand what a bond is and what it means and what it costs, and I’m asking.”
A pause.
Then Malric said, “You shouldn’t bond because you want to fight your father.”
The words were careful. Not unkind. But careful in the way of someone trying to give me something I needed rather than something I wanted, and it hurt. Badly.
“You don’t want me,” I said flatly, as I pressed a fist into my stomach to try to hold off the cramping from the heat.
“No.” Malric’s voice sharpened. “We’re not doing that. We’re not doing the version of this where you ask and I deflect and you decide what my silence means.” He stood and tilted my chin up to hold his gaze. “This is the time for truth. You said that to me in the bath and I failed you then. I’m not failing you now.”
I waited, holding my breath.
“I want you,” he said. “However I can have you. That has been true since before I had the courage to say it, and I am saying it now.” His jaw tightened. “But bonding is for life. It cannot be undone. I have watched what a bond breaking does to a person and I would not put you through that, and I would not survive it myself.” Something raw moved through his expression. “If we do this, it has to mean something. Not strategy, not your father, not because your heat is demanding an answer. It has to mean you want us for the right reasons, not for revenge. You want us the way we want you. That’s all I need to know. Because I want you. Forever.”
The room was quiet except for my breathing, which was not entirely steady.
I thought about what I wanted to say and then I set aside the organized version of it and said the true thing instead.
“You came into my tower and you looked at me like I was a person,” I said to Malric. “Not a problem. Not a weapon. Not a responsibility. You looked at me like I was someone worth understanding, and then you went about understanding me with the most relentless, infuriating thoroughness I have ever witnessed.” A smile tugged at the corner of my lips. “You’re the steadiest thing I’ve ever known. When you’re in a room, I thinkmore clearly. When you speak, I trust the words because you don’t spend them carelessly.” I pressed my hand to my sternum. “You ground me. You don’t diminish me but provide me safety and support.”
He looked completely undone, as if no one had ever said these words to him.
I turned to Thane.
“You knelt. That first time, when you came in and crouched in front of me and put yourself at my level when you didn’t have to. You didn’t have to do that.” My throat tightened. “You have never once made me feel like a burden, or a danger, or a thing to be managed. You touched me as if I were worth being careful with. You stayed outside a door for hours because I asked you to, and when I let you in, you sat on the far edge of the nest and waited.” I shook my head. “You feel like warmth, like home.” Heat surged again, and my breath caught, but I pushed through it. “I have been cold my entire life, and I didn’t know it until you were standing next to me.”
The room was silent except for our breathing.
Thane moved first.
