Ice crunched underfoot as I placed one boot in front of the other. I tried to harness my thoughts as my magic escalated to the sting of tears in my eyes. It was simply the letdown of unrealized hope. He would never let his own desires override his commitment to his cause. Fate was cruel that way. He warned me in the beginning this couldn’t end well. This dam would not crack even if my heart did.
Lost in thought, I hadn’t realized Dom had ceased walking. I halted, not ready to walk alongside him. I was prepared to follow him from a wide distance until we reached Vorkut. I needed to gather myself if we were to continue working alongside each other. I needed space and some time to recover.
I could sense the battle he waged against himself. He started to turn toward me again, but thought better of it. He wiped his hand down his face, a muttered “Foka” sailing in the wind as he faced me fully.
Lashing gusts disrupted my hair, the pink strands tickling my forehead as they swirled around me. The movement caught Dom’s attention as his gaze locked on mine. I didn’t know what kind of ground we were on, so I trusted the glacial environment over my emotions, and stood frozen. He took a few tentative steps, both determination and resignation wafting off of him.
“My whole life I have been chosen to lead. I am the hope of the rebellion, the prince of redemption for what has beenstolen. I have been obsessed with finding a cure for my curse and overthrowing King Nolan. I long ago accepted my isolated existence. Yet, since meeting you…” He faltered, imperceptibly shaking his head. “Something has awakened within me.” He raked his hand down his face. I saw too clearly the battle of responsibility against longing. He refused to advance toward me, holding himself back.
Words would not form. My magic writhed, urging me forward. I cautiously grasped his hand, the air chilling my skin to the point of numbing. He did not push me away.
“I am willing to fight for you as your friend and ally if that’s what you want. Nolan’s power threatens everything; I understand we fight for something greater than ourselves. I made you a promise, and I told you when it was fulfilled I would leave.” The truth soured in my mouth. If this is what he needed from me I would do it, even though my heart rebelled against it.
His whole body went rigid. “I hate that word in your mouth.” His pupils dilated, rimmed with a ring of glowing amber. “I cannot simply be your friend,m’est kisertes. I fear I need much more than that.”
He reached out to hold my face, his thumb brushing against my cheek. He leaned forward hesitantly, pressed a soft kiss to my cheek. I stiffened as my magic responded to the electrical pulse that lanced through me. I could not deny the strange magnetism he had over me.
He pulled back at my rigidity, his face no longer readable. “Our bargain still stands. Whatever you choose to give me will be enough.”
I needed some time to myself, away from the attraction that overrode both of our senses. The truth of Dom’s curse, my feelings for him, and the lies of King Nolan weighed on me. Whatever grew between Dom and I settled confusingly on mycautious heart. The promise of an evening to process and plan next to a hearth at an inn sounded divine.
He released my hand, then with an aching tenderness, secured the hood of my cloak, before gently urging me on.
Chapter Thirty-Four
THE GENERAL
The truth sprawled before me as exposed as the surrounding tundra. Next to me, Liora tightened her cloak as we trudged past glacial caves, the fabric doing little to ward off the chill. Her presence never left my awareness, and I’m not sure I wanted it to.
I really did fear I needed more of her. All of her. I tried to shut her out, remind myself of my responsibilities, but thoughts of her infiltrated my every attempt at focus, and consumed every one of my thoughts. Plans long established now shifted to accommodate her place in them. Her scent left me distracted. Her sighs made my fingers curl in their desire to find the places that would coax more of them out.
I glanced at her from my peripheral. Ilayah had gone in search of a girl in Maripol before she was captured. Xuri had visions of one with lilac-pink hair who would lead me to my cure. Ilayah’s last vision to me included the prophetic words of “one I was tasked to find.” Was she one and the same? My magic pulsed in affirmation and I nearly tripped.
She stared at me questioningly, and I offered a reassuring smile. The punishing wind howled too loudly to sacrifice words.
The thought of losing her, of letting her go once the bargain was complete, clamped a vise around me. I couldn’t allow it. But I felt her tense when we touched and though I wouldn’t force her, I would dedicate my life to convincing her otherwise. I could give her time, even knowing I had little left.
I kept pace with her, lightly supporting her elbow to guide her over chunks of ice. Childhood memories of holding her hand when we jumped across streams in the Rivellan Wood filled my mind.
I remembered how she laughed when we were little. I always thought she had the most beautiful sing-song response to joy, sure that she had exercised her delight on a regular basis. But she had confessed that only when she was with me in the secluded forest did she feel the freedom to release her joy without fear of her father’s retribution. I tried to coax it out of her as often as possible.
This particular day, we were practicing throwing daggers in the woods, only she kept hurling fistfuls of leaves at me. At one point, I threw my dagger too high, and it knocked a bee’s hive off of a limb. It plummeted to the ground with a muted thump. We both stared, stunned. Then the bees came in earnest, and our young legs pumped like the wind to outpace the angry stingers aimed threateningly in our direction. I cupped her elbow then as I did now. Our laughter joined the buzz at our backs. Exhilaration fueled our retreat.
Our legs burned, but we didn’t dare look behind us. I had grabbed her hand and she laced her fingers with my own. Together we jumped over a stream. In our minds, in the seclusion of the forest, we could defeat anything if we were together. Could that be true again?
With the cold, and Liora’s injured thigh, we maintained a creeping pace. Flurries accumulated along our shoulders and pelted our cheeks. She struggled to keep the hood of her cloakup, concealing the mysterious color of her hair. There would be no laughter on this journey.
Both Liora and I barely contained the chatter of our teeth. One step in front of the other. The city couldn’t be far ahead.
After what could have been hours or interminable minutes, the looming forms of buildings finally emerged from the sea of ice. Their presence brought a relief so strong I huffed a delirious laugh.
Queen Thaleia spoke true when she told us it was a small village. There were only a few prominent streets, and finding the inn was a simple affair. Blessedly warm air greeted us as the door shut at our backs, a few stray flakes of snow trailing us inside.
Liora snaked through crowds of people, heading straight to the roaring hearth. She nestled next to the heat, her shivers still visible even across the room. My shadows hovered near her, keeping watch. I scouted the tavern for signs of Bowen. My own body slowly thawed, and I found a server to inquire about lodging and lunch.
I almost argued when the server explained our room, but I was too cold and exhausted to put up a fight. I offered a handful of coins before finding Liora in the crowd. She was strong and capable, but I’d always thought myself her shield. As long as she was in my care, she would have my protection.
Her eyes found mine and I wordlessly beckoned her over. Her disappointment at leaving the fire’s heat was subtle but evident. I’d make sure the hearth in her room would keep her warm through the night.
