Giant footsteps thundered up the stairs and a crowd of very large men exploded into the living space.Mab gazed at them in amazement.They all seemed to have black hair, high cheekbones, a generous sprinkling of stubble, and Leo’s deep blue eyes.The sight was intoxicating.Mab felt as if she might drown in testosterone.Leo opened his arms wide, and there was a mass of manly hugging and back slapping.After a few moments, Leo extracted himself and said, ‘Mab, Jess, these great ugly idiots are my brothers, and this is my dad, Harry.’
The older man stepped forward.It would have been hard to tell him apart from his sons at first glance, but Mab could now see that there were streaks of grey in the black hair that was cropped fashionably short.The length of hair seemed to somehow relate to their ages, thought Mab – there was a youngish boy with long curls, not stubbly at all now she had the chance to look more closely, another slim, more serious-faced man with somewhat less hair than Leo and a huge brother with short corkscrew curls that seemed to fizz with electricity.Their father beamed down at her and the laughter lines around his eyes encouraged Mab to smile back warmly.Harry spoke first.
‘Good to meet you at last, Mabel.My boy’s lucky to have persuaded a canny lass like you to join him.He’s a silver-tongued charmer, just like the rest of us.I’m Harry, and these here are our Josh, Alex and Denis.And this must be Jess?Has he roped you in too?’
He wrapped first Mab and then Jess in an enormous bear hug and the older brothers joined in, adding their own hugs.The tallest brother, Denis, who had sparkling eyes and the broadest shoulders of them all, chucked Mab under the chin.This would normally have annoyed her intensely, but his energy was breathtaking and it was a refreshing change to be able to look up at so many men.The one who must be Alex shook Mab’s hand and then kissed it.He was ravishing, with the longest eyelashes of them all, and a more delicate bone structure.He reminded Mab of her mum’s old posters of David Bowie; elegant, slim-hipped and extremely sexy.The youngest brother just grinned at her; he was busy eating an apple and looking around the flat with frank amazement.Denis looked over at Leo and nodded his approval, giving Mab an extra hug of his own for good luck.
‘Why aye, pet.You’re both as pretty as a picture, Leo said you were bonny, and he wasn’t wrong.I’m Den, and I’m the oldest, if you hadn’t guessed.Oh, and this is Sophie.’
There was a split second’s silence, and into the room sailed the most ravishingly beautiful creature that Mab had ever seen.She had waist-length brown hair, with the shine and tint of newly picked chestnuts.It was straightened to within an inch of its life and swung over and around her shoulders as she walked.Her golden tan looked natural, but was probably out of a hideously expensive bottle, Mab thought, or more likely sprayed on by an expert.Sophie’s eyes were as dark as molasses, and she was so small and slim that her suede skirt would have barely made a handbag for a more regular-sized person.As she glanced around the room, her eyes fell on Mab and she blinked short-sightedly.
‘Oh, you’ve got to be Mabel,’ she said.‘Leo’s told me all about you.You’re really tall, aren’t you?He said you were big, but…’
Out of the corner of her eye, Mab saw Stan with his mouth open, and Jess looking dangerously stony-faced.Leo said hurriedly, ‘Sophie, pet, you look fantastic.Come and say “Hi” to my new mates; here’s Mab, and Jess, and Stan, Mab’s brother.’He waved an arm around, as if trying to bring everyone into Sophie’s view and she peered at them all, before fixing her beady gaze on Stan.
‘Stan?What a funny name!Who were you called after?I was named after the little girl inThe BFG.My dad thought I would grow up to be all blonde, beautiful, sweet and intelligent like her – I don’t know what went wrong…’ She smiled at Stan, and he flushed to the roots of his hair.
‘But, erm… youarebeautiful… and I’m sure you’re just as … er… intelligent.’
Sophie glanced up at him through long, fluttering eyelashes and seemed to forget about the rest of the company for a moment, as she placed a dainty hand on Stan’s arm.Mab was stunned.She had never seen anybody actually bat their eyelashes, apart from in her mum’s old video clips of Princess Diana.It was nauseating to watch, but apparently very effective, even if they were so obviously fake.Leo was the first to break the silence.
‘Hey, Soph.You’ve been here five minutes already and you haven’t said hello to me properly.’He flung his arms wide again, and came towards Sophie, who squeaked, and stepped back quickly.
‘Leo!You’re all dirty.Can’t you wait till you’ve had chance to get changed?’
She looked across at Mab and Jess, who had moved together instinctively.
‘Men – what are they like?Who wants to hug a filthy, sweaty bloke when you can have a nice clean one instead?’She smiled up at Stan again, and Leo dropped his arms, shoulders slumped.After a moment, Sophie seemed to realise that she was being regarded with some hostility by the other two women.
‘Oh, come here then, you big bear.Let’s get it over with and then perhaps you can go for a shower?’
She stood on tiptoe and hugged Leo swiftly and unenthusiastically.As he began to respond, she moved away and began to prowl around the room on her impossibly spiky heels.Leo sat down suddenly, as his dad said, ‘Well, this looks a fine place to set up shop, lad.We’re going to need to have a serious look at the job in hand, boys.But first and foremost, I’m a bit parched, to be honest.Did someone mention a beer?’
Leo hurriedly fetched a crate of mixed bottles, all the time keeping his eye on Sophie’s progress around the flat.Finally, he called out, ‘Well, Soph – what do you reckon?D’you want a beer to celebrate our new place?’
Sophie came out of the bathroom, shaking her head.
‘Not for me, hun.I’ve given up alcohol, don’t forget.I need to watch my weight if I want to get into that fabulous wedding dress.A glass of water would be good though – still water, of course, Evian if you’ve got it, with a slice of lemon?And just one tiny cube of ice?’
Disconcerted, Leo began to apologise for forgetting Sophie’s essential supplies, but Den slipped into the kitchen and was heard to turn on the tap.Sophie frowned, as she heard the clank of the old water pipes.
‘This place sounds like a death trap.Has it ever been rewired, do you know?It feels chilly to me, Leo.Please tell me the heating works?’
‘Yes, of course it does, but what about the size of the flat, love?The light?The views?Can you see its potential?’
Mab watched Sophie with narrowed eyes.Surely she must be able to see what a fantastic opportunity Leo was providing for their future?Sophie laughed her tinkling little laugh again.
‘Potential?Oh, yes, if you knocked it down and started again.’
Harry stepped in as Leo’s face clouded over.‘Now then, let’s not get discouraged so soon.There’s plenty to be done, that’s for sure, but with the Lamb gang on the case, it’ll be fit for a queen in no time.Or a princess in this instance, obviously.’
He smiled at Sophie ingratiatingly, and Leo and his brothers, apart from Den, nodded agreement.Den, having given his future sister-in-law a glass of tepid, rather cloudy water, was now looking over at Mab.He gave a very slight wink, which made her feel so much more cheerful that she jumped into the breach herself.
‘Right, guys, I think what we all need is some food.I’m going to pop down the road to the Raj and get us all a curry.I’ve got a menu somewhere in my bag – could you give me some ideas about what you all like?Then we can sit down and decide where to begin.You must all be hungry?Sophie?’
‘Not for me, thank you, Mabel, unless they have salads?Or maybe just a small vegetarian snack.Not deep fried, of course.And I can’t eat rice.Or naan bread.Oh, and no poppadoms.Carbs are poison for me at the moment.’
Mab took a deep breath.She imagined what it would feel like to hit Sophie very hard with one of the dusty bricks that was lying on the floor.Just the thought was enough to calm her down, and she took the rest of the orders efficiently, concentrating on the thought of the banquet of food that would appear shortly.
