Cutting off the link, I shoved up my walls, blocking him from reaching me.
My chest heaving, I leaned against a cold cement wall, feeling like my lungs were caving in on themselves. Fighting the urge to cry, I bit down on my lip until I tasted blood.
Knowing he was with Nerissa and others was bad, but him purposefully adding Rosie sliced to the bone. She was my friend. He wanted to hurt me on purpose. To make it clear to me on what we were to each other. We fucked, and that was it. Don’t get attached.
Leaning over my legs, I inhaled ragged breaths, trying not to collapse under the sensation of betrayal... again.
What did you expect, Brex? The legendary Wolf would be yours? He was a good guy? That he cared about you? Then you are the one who is a fool.
One night of hate sex didn’t mean we were together. We weren’t anything besides connected by this stupid bond. Our feelings were probably not even real. As Hanna mentioned, men were “drawn” to me, not able to fight it.
Not their choice.
It wasn’tmethey wanted; it was whatever I was.
Clamping down any feelings I had for him, I shoved all the pain away. It was how they trained us for the field, to compartmentalize and continue on with our mission. It was how I dealt with losing my father.
I had one mission now: finding the nectar. The clock was ticking, and I had no real leads. The only option was going back into the book.
Something in my gut warned me the book was no different. It was drawn to me too.
And some day, it might not let me out, locking my mind in there forever.
Chapter
Seventeen
“You look like shit.” I strolled up to Ash, forcing a smile on my face. My attention darted briefly over to where Birdie was now watching Caden. He shifted in his sleep, telling me he was slowly stirring from unconsciousness. It was a relief that he was rousing, but at the same time, I was scared for him to wake. To face my best friend as a prisoner.
“Thanks.” Ash yawned, sitting back in the chair, scouring his face. Exhaustion left darker rings under his eyes. His hair was knotted, covered in grime and blood, and he could still do a photo shoot. It wasn’t fair how gorgeous these guys were.
“How’s he doing?” I leaned over Luk, brushing his blond hair off his forehead, his skin hot and sticky.
“Better. I think he made it through the worst of it, but he’ll still need more time to heal. There were some close calls. He’s a tough kid.” Ash looked down at Luk before his gaze went to me. “How are you?”
“Fine.” My response sounded honest, but his lids narrowed, his head slanting.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.” My pitch went higher than I wanted.
“Fuck.” Ash tipped his head back. “What did he do?”
“Who?” I deflected.
His eyes leveled with mine. “You can’t lie to a tree fairy. We sense and feel everything. And you forget IknowWarwick.”
“It’s nothing.” I kept trying to dig in, more for me than Ash. I needed to stay focused.
“Where is he?”
My mouth opened about to say I didn’t know, but I let out a breath. “Kitty’s.”
His brows went up. “Why is he there?”
I shrugged, staring at the floor.
“Brex?”
