She was silent, letting the golden ringlets float around her cheek like a cocoon. That wound wasn’t yet healedenough for her to speak into existence just yet. The silence was admission enough, however. Araes cursed through gritted teeth.
“That bastard,” he growled.“I’ll kill him if he lays even a finger on you.”
“Let us not speak of it. It’s nothing I haven’t endured before.” Tethys cupped her palms, letting the warm water flow in, and watched as it poured back into the basin when she raised her hands.
A heartbeat later, Araes knelt at the basin’s side, his head dipped low with an enclosed fist across his heart—the highest gesture of honor in the Venian army.
“I have failed you. My duty is to protect you at all cost and I’ve failed. Miserably. I’m sorry, Tethys.” There it was. The shudder that ripped through her body at her name on his tongue. The way he pronounced it felt like a secret, shared only between the two of them. A warmth enveloped her, numbing the dull ache from her bruises. This man, to his core, was a protector. She realized suddenly that it wasn’t his honor or duty he revered so highly. It was hisloyalty.
“Tell me what caused your panic attack when we were in your mother’s home.” Tears threatened to pool at the corner of her eyes. She so desperately wanted to see all that lay hidden behind his curtains. All he fought to suppress.
If she was to trust him with her whole damned soul then she needed to become acquainted with the broken man pieced back together so haphazardly. They were shattered mirrors reflecting upon one another. Haunted by twin traumas.
“What?” he asked, taken aback by her sudden request.
“Please. If I am to fall apart before you, here and now, I need to know,” she whispered, her voice wavering as the words escaped from her lips.
“I…” Araes took a breath, and she supposed in doingso, he too was thickening his armor for the pain he most certainly was about to endure.“I had a twin brother. Enyo. Although he could be a pain in the ass, we were inseparable. He was kind, and loyal, and the strongest fighter I’d ever seen. The plan always was to enlist together. Well, when the time actually came to leave for basic training, I was too much of a coward. We got into a huge argument and I stormed off. When I’d finally come to my senses and summoned up the courage to go back, our unit had left without me.” Araes drew a shallow breath and shrugged away from the washbasin. As he spoke, he paced the washroom, as if the memory could be dulled with each step.
“Two weeks later, we received notice from the commanding officer. Enyo had died on the frontline. The next day, I submitted a request to be sent directly to the frontlines without having to wait for the next unit of no-ranks to be shipped off to basic training. I haven’t been home since. Nor have I looked back. That was six years ago,” he said, bracing himself against the vanity.
“And being that was the first time you’d seen your mother or been in your childhood home…” Tethys trailed off. She couldn’t imagine how painful being inside those cottage walls had been. Araes wasn’t just the stoic, silent type of man. His quiet nature wasn’t an armor he wore or a part he played. He was at war with his own mind. His own broken heart. He hadn’t been guarded to keep her out. He’d been guarded to keep himselfin.
“Yes,” he whispered.
“I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have gone to that party,” she said, suddenly meaning it.
“There’s a lot of things both of us shouldn’t have done. And a few things we should have,” he said, kneeling beside the basin. His eyes glittered like shattered glass. No doubt a reflection of his soul.
Seconds passed and they stayed in that space, breathing one another in.
“I should get you a robe, my lady,” Araes said, abruptly jerking away from the energy buzzing between them. Tethys cleared her throat, snapping back to the reality of her nightmare.
“Yes, Lieutenant. I—” she sighed, wrapping her arms around herself.“The water has gone cold and I’d like to retire for the night.”
He nodded curtly and disappeared into the adjacent linen closet, returning a moment later with a white cotton robe. Tethys pushed herself to her feet with the sides of the basin, and she noticed Araes didn’t hesitate before lowering his gaze to the stone floor.
Once dressed, she returned to her bedchambers where the soldier patiently waited for her, sitting almost lazily in the wingback by the balcony.
“I’ll let you get some rest,” he whispered, rising to his feet.
“When I said I didn’t want you to go, I meant it, Lieutenant,” she said, sliding beneath her silk duvet.
“Then I’ll stay.” He nodded and resettled into the chair.
“Thank you,” Tethys whispered, exhaustion suddenly blanketing her in its thick, comforting arms.
Before she could even exhale, heavy, dreamless sleep took hold and refused to let go until dawn’s first light.
Chapter 28
The lieutenant stayed seated opposite her bed until the early hours of morning. Tethys watched his head nod as he wavered in and out of sleep. She’d snuck out of bed and tapped his shoulder before sending him back to his own chambers for a few hours of rest.
When she’d finally summoned the courage to descend the staircase and break her fast, she realized that the world felt different. The staff bustled around her like they did every day, but the sunlight was a muted shade of gold as it beamed through the linen curtains. The air smelled different. Even her coffee left a new taste on her tongue.
Araes joined her, in a wrinkled uniform and curls hanging across his brow. It seemed like he hadn’t slept at all during the night. Tethys thought it selfish of her to ask him to stay, to keep him glued to the settee across from her all night, but she couldn’t find it in herself to face the darkness alone. A sharp sting across her belly sent a reminder through her. She flinched, feeling Procyon’s fistconnect with her abdomen as if it’d just happened.
“Lieutenant,” she said, pushing away the images before they paralyzed her where she sat. She wouldn’t be weak anymore. Wouldn’t allow Procyon to haunt her very thoughts. “I need to catch up on reviewing the council’s reports today. If you’d like to rest this morning, rest assured I won’t try to sneak off the manor grounds again.”
