“I can’t tonight, my lady, but thank you for the offer,” Jaide replied, following Tethys to the library’s exit. “I’ll see you soon. I promise.”
The goddess kissed her friend on the cheek and bid her goodnight.
When Tethys finally tucked herself beneath the down comforter, she stared up at the ivy mural just as she did every night. Even the weighted bedding couldn’t shake the chill seeping into through her bones.
Maybe it wasn’t that everyone eventually left. Maybe it was that she simply pushed them all away. Tethys thought of every failed friendship over the years since her arrival. It was so easy for her to hide behind the frigid mask of indifference when they all turned their backs, but it hurt. It never stopped hurting, she realized.
Why couldn’t she just open herself up? Jaide confided in her countless times, offered Tethys her struggles, and accepted the goddess’s comfort. Why, then, couldn’t Tethys do the same? She’d cocooned herself in this thick, hardened shell, and yet no matter how hard she tried breaking free, she couldn’t. No matter how easy it would be to reach out her hand and lay bare even the most vile versions of herself, she couldn’t.
Tethys threw the blanket over her head, letting the darkness beneath their covers crawl along her skin. She was so tired of fighting. Even death wouldn’t quiet just how loud it’d become in her head. She wrapped her arms around her chest, fearing it might split open. If she could just fade from existence, even if only for a little while. Her usual demons lurked on her mind’s outskirts, waiting to pounce. She closed her eyes and let them come.
Even her golden haired boy didn’t find her when silent sobs flooded from her eyes. Maybe he, too, had turned his back.
Chapter 26
The days drawled by with no news of the missing text, nor from her sister in the north. Tethys feigned interest in her usual activities—strolling the gardens, entertaining her ladies-in-waiting, and battling the vicious remarks from her council. The monotony was exhausting and the messages left unread were infuriating.
Now Araes sat opposite her in the formal dining room, avoiding the darting gaze of a wandering eye. She poked her untouched dinner, too lost in racing thoughts to find her appetite. What use was she as queen when everyone else offered to solve her problems? She was sick of waiting, sick of staring out the manor’s crystal windows hoping for news of resolution. If Messene wanted to lead the search for the missing edition, fine, but Tethys refused to sit idly in hopes of a response from Polaris that’d surely never come.
“My queen, the king has arrived,” a servant announced before pulling open the heavy double doors. Tethys’s throat instantly dried at the sight of Procyon. His longbeard swayed as he strutted into the space, sucking every last breath of air from her lungs.
“Everyone out. You included, Lieutenant.” Procyon’s voice boomed with sheer, primordial power that sent the servants rushing for the door. Tethys’s whole body clenched.
“Your Highness, I am to remain at the queen’s side at all times,” Araes protested.
“She is not unguarded in the presence of herhusband, who is an immortal, I might remind you,” Procyon hissed through gritted teeth. Tethys took a step away from the god, her calves hitting the royal velvet chair behind her.
Before the lieutenant could protest, Procyon snapped his finger and Araes’s seat slid across the floor, carrying him into the hall. The doors slammed shut, and the lock clicked them secure.
“Do you want to explain to me why I received a report of four dead rebels in Lord Ophis’s pleasure house?” His voice thundered through her whole body. Tethys hadn’t seen the full force of Procyon’s temper in a long time. Not since they were children, both still residing in their mother’s home.
“I’m not sure what you’re talking about, Proc,” she said, using all of her willpower not to recoil from the wildfire raging in his eyes.
“Don’t play dumb, Tethys. I have eyewitness accounts of a ‘golden haired beauty’ slipping away with some black-eyed snake with rebellion tattoos,” he said, closing the space she’d created between them.
“Procyon I—”
“I don’t care to hear whatever tale you’ve authored.” He was so close now, she could practically taste the Canissaen clove on his breath and the fresh autumn chill that seemed to trail him no matter where he traveled.
“Please just let me explain,” she whispered. Her backhit the wall as she stepped away once more.
“Silence, you stupid bitch,” he hissed.
Procyon was so close now. Too close. Tethys’s heart thrummed through her chest cavity. She supposed this is what a doe felt looking down the point of a nocked arrow. The tension in her chest wound until it was unbearable to breathe and a single phrase pumped through her veins, plowing into her mind with a force so undeniable, it froze her in place.
Run.He was going to hurt her. Maybe even kill her, and she couldn’t use her body against him again.
Not now, not when he thought her tainted and stained.
“You’ve made a fool of yourself. You’ve dishonored this marriage. You’ve humiliated me in my own realm, and now you’ll tell me exactly why you couldn’t keep that pretty little thing between your legs to yourself.” Procyon gripped Tethys’s chin between his massive fingers, squeezing just enough to keep her eyes locked on his.
“Do I notsatisfyyour needs? Is your desire so overwhelming that you feel you need to lower yourself to apleasure house?” The way Procyon’s tongue traced the back of his teeth as he pronounced his words reminded Tethys of a snake as it hissed.
She opened her mouth to reply, but the point of his nails dug into the tender flesh of her cheeks and ripped the words from her lips. She writhed beneath his hold, desperate to escape. His eyes blazed to their inferno, and she knew beyond any doubt that he’d been consumed by his rage.
“I’ll show you just howsatisfyingI can be,” he whispered, releasing her chin only to wrap his thunderous hands around her biceps.
She winced as he dug into the sensitive skin along the backs of her arms where muscle met bone. He could snap her like a twig if he wanted to.
