He wanted to go in there, hold Garridan’s hand, and maybe even lie next to him as he recovered. He just couldn’t get past the thought that maybe Garridan wouldn’t want a mate at all, not to mention one who the vampires had used as a fuck toy, who wasn’t strong enough to fight them no matter how hard he’d tried.
Sage doubted he’d be able to lie next to Garridan anyway. Mate or not, just the thought of someone touching him sent Sage over the edgeof fear. Wanting to be near his mate warred against the fear inside him, making it impossible to move.
Sage was damaged goods and everyone in the house knew it. He was reminded every time someone touched him, even if it was a hand on his shoulder or if they brushed by him, and he shied away. He fought the urge to fall to the floor in the fetal position when they tried.
His wounds went far deeper than he cared to think about. What the vampires had done played in an endless loop, never giving him a break. It blocked everything else, taking up residence there, as if it had a right to do so. Sage had no power over that wound. It festered and infected every single moment of his life and it would infect his mate too.
He knew it. Everyone in the house knew it. Although, in the hours that he had sat staring at the door, each and every single one of the Somerset family had come up to him and urged him to go inside, to be with his mate.
Sage couldn’t hide the fact that Garridan was his mate because they all knew, based solely on the look Sage had on his face. Although, Sage’s eyes weren’t changing and his teeth weren’t dropping down, they still knew. Hell, Sage’s cock wasn’t even getting hard. Of course, he could contribute his lack of a boner to the fact that his mate was in there unconscious and he’d been beaten.
It worried him that he hadn’t reacted to Garridan the way a shifter should. Still, he had no doubt Garridan was his mate. His smell alone told Sage the truth. He smelled delicious, like chocolate chip cookies. Even from out there that smell surrounded him like a blanket. It alone was the reason Sage wanted to go in there.
Sage had shitty coping skills. They consisted of long hours wanting everyone to leave him alone, and most of the time that included Lucas. It was everything he could do some days just to avoid the vampires hismind conjured up. It was a weird feeling, knowing he was hallucinating. And he knew that was what it was, too.
Someone sat beside him and Sage stiffened. When Lucas took his hand, Sage flinched and fought the urge to pull away. Lucas was the one person who Sage could let touch him and not have to fight the need to scream. Lucas only ever touched his hand, though, so that was probably why. Consistency was key.
A second later, he felt Lucas’ calming presence in his mind. He relaxed as much as he could.
Sage said, “Nosy” under his breath, when he felt Lucas poke around in his thoughts. Lucas could have just asked him. It wasn’t as if Sage would hold anything back. “Rude.”
“Sorry, I just knew you wouldn’t tell me what you were thinking.”
“It’s okay. I won’t tell Ramsey. Just ask me next time.”
Lucas smiled. “I can’t promise anything.”
“Might as well finish.” That was about the only invitation Lucas needed to continue invading Sage’s private thoughts.
It was a few seconds later when Lucas rolled his eyes. “You’re not damaged, Sage. So just stop thinking that.”
Sage pulled his hand away. “Yes, I am.” He sighed. “What if he wants to bond and I freak out? I won’t be able to give him what he needs.”
What if he’s feral and attacks me?That was the big question running through Sage’s mind. Garridan had been stuck in his dragon form for so many years there was bound to be a fracture between both forms.
His father had told him never to stay in one form to long. All shifters’ parents told their kids to keep a balance. There were horror stories some parents told their kids to drive the point home and those stories were told to them when they were young, before they even had their first shift. His father had told him about a place where feralshifters went. The place was a kind of mental ward slash prison. The stories his father told had scared him and to that day Sage shifted on a regular basis because of them.
The last time Sage had heard a story about being feral he’d been on a middle school camping trip. Some stupid kid had held a flashlight up to his face and told a story of how a feral shifter had killed all of the kids in his village. After that, the feral shifter had gone into the woods and killed the children who camped out every year.
The fact that the children were his only victims had seemed off and he had said as much. Sage remembered thinking about the poor shifter who couldn’t think past his survival instincts. He couldn’t imagine what that must have been like and he honestly felt sorrier for the shifter then he did the children. The other kids had kicked him out of the tent for asking too many questions and siding with the feral shifter.
Sage had always loved a good story and was an avid reader. He still felt that one little detail needed some explanation for the story to work. Plus, the ending was pure crap. Sage hadn’t died on that camping trip, so that proved the ending sucked.
“He’s not going to be like the story you heard as a kid. Besides, I fixed some of it already. I think he’ll be disoriented and maybe a little bit primal, but he’ll heal up just fine. You just need to give him time,” Lucas said, reading Sage’s thoughts again. Stupid witch tricks.Read that, Lucas.
Lucas stuck out his tongue.
Normally, when a shifter was in his animal form, their brain function changed only slightly. His animal instincts were more prominent, and that side did take over a bit more, which made sense. His senses were different the second he shifted, which changed his perception of the environment around him. His human side didn’t disappear, though. He still had the capacity for rational thought.
What Lucas said made sense.
Garridan’s survival instincts would be more prominent and take centre stage, even when he was in his human form. The longer he stayed in that form the more cognizant he would become too. At least, that was the most reasonable thing to assume.
“He’ll scare me. I know he will. Everyone scares me, so why wouldn’t he?”
“Bennett tells me Garridan was a very nice, loving shifter before he was captured. I bet he’ll understand that you need time to heal before you truly bond,” Lucas said.
If Garridan had been kind before going feral, he probably wouldn’t kill all of Saint Lakes, which was definitely a plus as far as Sage was concerned.
