“Yeah, I can see why. That stuff smells awful.”
Mother Estelle smiled. “That’s part of it.” She stirred it for a few more moments and then chanted. When the liquid changed colors, she winked.
“Are you sure you don’t want me to drive you?” she asked. He understood what she’d really asked. She wanted to know if Sage was able to go to work.
“I’ll drive myself.” He wasn’t sure if he could be around all those people in the restaurant. He could already feel a tightness in his chest just contemplating the idea of going to work.
Sage kissed her on her cheek and moved away, so he wouldn’t have to smell her concoction anymore. He went into his bedroom to find his work shoes, opening the closet and rummaged around at the bottom, looking for the pair he always wore when he worked. Being on his feet all day had been hard and the right shoes made a big difference.
He had to start somewhere and being in a restaurant with people threw him into the real world. He would either make it work or crash and burn. Even Sage had no clue which one he would do, although he suspected he’d crash and burn. It was time to go to extremes.
When did going to work as a waiter in a restaurant become extreme?If there was any doubt that Sage had lost his mind, he just got confirmation.
He just wanted to fix himself. The sooner, the better.
Going to work might seem like a little thing, and to most people it was, but to Sage it was like facing down a firing squad. Sage pulled out the shoes he needed and sat on the side of his bed. He willed air in and out of his lungs, trying to take long pulls.
It’s all psychological. You can breathe just fine. It’s just a panic attack. No one is trying to hurt you. Come on, Sage. Snap out of it so you can be a whole person. Not just a scared worthless snake.
That stupid word, worthless, played around in his head, dancing in his mind as if it had a right to be there. Sage stood and changed his clothes. He was out of the back door, running for it before he even knew what he was doing.
Good for him that Andrea was a great boss and told him he could come back whenever he was ready after the kidnapping. He might nothave been ready for work, but his mate and his wallet needed him to go.
Sage took a deep breath. If he didn’t at least try to go then he never would.
“Woah. Sage, where’s the fire?” Ramsey said when Sage passed him on the back porch.
Sage must have had a wild look in his eyes or something. The more the panic built in his chest, the more the panic changed to desperation. It felt like the most important thing in his entire life, as if his future hung on that one moment. He was sure the world would end if he didn’t get to the restaurant in the next few minutes.
“I have to go to work,” Sage said and started down the steps.
“I thought you were taking time off,” Ramsey said from behind him.
“I can’t take any more time. Garridan needs me to get better. He needs me to not be a worthless piece of shit, so I need to go to work,” Sage said and walked out into the yard.
“That doesn’t make sense. Sage, stop walking away from me,” Ramsey said.
“I’m going to be late.” Sage just kept walking around the house.
“I said stop. Now!”
Sage stopped immediately and stiffened when he heard his alpha take a few steps closer to him.
“Did Andrea put you on the schedule today?” Ramsey asked.
“No, Alpha.”
“Then why are you going?”
“Garridan needs me.”
“Yes, he does. But I still don’t get how you waiting tables in a restaurant will help Garridan.”
“It’s what I did before. I need to get back to how I was before.”
“Who told you that?”
“No one. I need to try to get my shit together. That’s what Lucas says will make Garridan better.”
