“Oh, how the tables have turned.” Blake’s smile was so wide it was practically off her face.
“What is the job you were talking about?” Jenna changed the subject.
“Well, speaking of Deacon?—”
“Mr. St. Claire,” Jenna corrected her daughter.
“I keep trying to call him that, he gets this tense look on his face and says, ‘Mr. St. Claire is my father, please call me Deacon,’” Blake imitated his voice. “Mom, I have to call him Deacon. It’s his name, Mom. He has the right to be called what he wants.” She left a moment’s pause for the weight of his right to be called what he wanted to hang in the air then continued, “Anyway, I’m his new babysitter. It’s not like a regular thing. Poppy’s his nanny but that’s during the day. I’m his official, go-to babysitter. And my first shift is the gala.” She pointed to the closet. “Go try on the dress!”
“No.” She shook her head and walked into the kitchen.
“Why not? Dinner can wait.”
“I’m not going to the gala.”
“Yes, you are mom. Don’t be so boring all the time.”
“No. I’m not going. And I’m not boring.”
“Yes, you are,” Blake argued. “And yes you are.”
“No, I’m not,” Jenna’s tone was harsher that time. “And I’m returning all of that. It’s ridiculous.”
Blake just stood there staring at her for a few seconds before she let out a forced laugh. “Mom, that’s crazy you have to?—”
“Blake, I’m not going. That’s it. I’m done talking about it. If Noah’s coming over, you need to put the laundry through and take out the trash. Those are your chores.” Jenna continued chopping, she could feel Blake still standing there.
After a few seconds, she said, “Mom!”
Jenna didn’t look up, she didn’t answer. It wasn’t a discussion.
“Seriously? I cannotwith you,” Blake finally muttered under her breath before turning and walking into thelaundry room, her retreat a symphony of indignant sighs and frustrated footfalls.
Jenna closed her eyes and exhaled. Three slow counts in, three out, trying to regulate her breathing and not have a full-blown panic attack. She told herself she didn’t owe Blake an explanation. She didn’t owe anyone an explanation. She had too many balls in the air to get knocks on the door with Bulgari jewelry, Louboutin shoes, and a Valentino gown. She didn’t want her daughter thinking that was real life.
What happened if she showed up to the ball in that dress and then six months from now he got bored and was back dating a Kardashian? Oh no, sorry, aJenner? Then what?
Tears started forming in her eyes. This wasn’t a fairytale, this was her life, and Deacon might think because of the night they’d shared that he wanted to be a part of it, but she wasn’t the freak-in-the-sheets he thought she was. She was the wake up at five to do laundry and read because it was the only time she had for herself and then get in bed at eight to watch a rerun ofDawson’s Creekbecause it was her comfort show.
He had a very warped idea of her, and hopefully he’d get bored and move on. So no, she was not going to the gala, no, she was not trying everything on, and yes, she was returning the dress, the shoes, and the jewelry…
Okay, maybe she’d try on the dress. It was a vintage Valentino, and she was only human.
16
Deacon pulledup outside of the nondescript building fifteen miles outside Hope Falls. He wasn’t sure what he’d been expecting, but it was just a building.
He’d tried therapy before, in his twenties, twice, and it had not gone well. He promised himself he’d never go back, but Tabby was getting older. She was pure and good and, so far, not tainted by whatever was wrong with him. Whatever was messed up in his head. There were demons there. Demons he never spoke about, to anyone. Which he’d heard wasn’t healthy. So he was there. Trying to be the best person, best father for his daughter.
Five Steps Counseling, he read the sign as he sat in his car ten minutes before his first appointment. He still thought the name sounded gimmicky, but the practice had a near perfect five-stars Yelp score with over three hundred reviews, so he figured it couldn’t be that bad. As he sat waiting to go inside, his mind wandered to the place it always did, Jenna. Specifically, what her reaction had been to the dress, shoes, jewelry, and invitation.
Was it a big swing? Yes.
But he wanted her to know she was worth big swings. She was worth every swing. He’d known that already, but after hearing Blake talk about her mom when she came over to do the interview he was even more determined to show her. He wished Jenna could hear how her daughter talked about her behind her back. She said her mom was Wonder Woman. She said her mom does everything for everyone.
When Robbie’s mom kicked him out after he came out and he was on the streets at seventeen, Jenna found out and let him stay on their couch, she gave him a job, got him enrolled in junior college, and even introduced him to his first boyfriend, who ended up being his first heartbreak, but that was life.
When Kiki needed to get custody of her baby sister, Layla, Jenna went to court for every hearing, even helped her with legal fees.
