“So, where would you like—" Deacon spoke at the same time Jen did. He thought he heard what she said, but he turned his head.
She was looking down at her hands holding her phone. “I know it doesn’t matter if she was. But she wasn’t… a sex worker, I mean. He calls her that because she had a lot of men around. But she wasn’t. They were men who had money, alotof money, and thought they could buy things that weren’t for sale.”
Deacon’s hands gripped the steering wheel at the implication that thethingwas her. He was trying to stay calm, he knew his anger wasn’t what she needed. If she wanted to talk about it, she just needed him to be there for her. It wasn’t about him or his feelings of wanting to protect her, of wishing he could be there to kill each and every one of them.
“Did they… did you…”
“No!” she quickly clarified as she took a shaky breath. “My mom was an addict her whole life and put me in some verybadsituations. But thankfully I was smart, had really good intuition, got good locks on my door, and a boyfriend at fourteen who was six foot two, a hundred and ninety pounds, and who basically moved in.”
“And he was a good guy?”
“The best. Ash, he’s my baby daddy,” she chuckled. “My first husband. Anyway…” She took a deep breath and exhaled loudly. “I don’t know why I told you that, I just didn’t want you to think…she was a lot of things, but not that. James just always called her that.”
“James is an asshole.”
“Yep, he sure is.”
They drove for a few minutes in silence before he asked, “Where do you want me to take you?”
She looked out the passenger window, and then he felt her turn her head towards him. “Well, I’m not going home.”
He glanced back at the road, then back to her. “My daughter is spending the night?—"
“Was that the girl in the picture with your parents?”
He nodded.
“How old is she?”
“Three.”
“And her mom?”
He turned his attention back out the windshield. “She passed away.”
“I’m so sorry.”
All too familiar guilt crept up his neck. It was the same every time the subject of Kristen came up. She was his wife, she was the mother of his child, and of course he missed her. Of course, he wished that Tabby had her mom, that Kristen could have been a mom she was born to be, but she wasn’t the love of his life.
They weren’t in love when they got married, and then she was gone. Overnight he was cast in the role of grieving husband and given sympathy he hadn’t earned. Years later he still didn’t know how to reconcile that.
“Tab’s with Cillian’s mom and dad,” he continued. “I have a suite where I’m staying, there are three bedrooms you’re welcome to?—”
“Okay.”
His head spun back towards her. He was 99% sure she’d said okay, but he also could have been imagining it. It had been a long day, a long week and he hadn’t slept. What he saw in her eyes told him not only had she said it, she meant it.
Just that morning he wasn’t sure how he’d make it through the day, now he wanted the day to last just a little bit, no,a lot, longer.
4
Just breathe,Jenna told herself.
She was in wholly uncharted territory as they pulled into the drive of The St. Claire Hotel. The facade of the entrance was composed of stone and walls of angled glass revealing waterfalls, greenery, and glowing pendant chandeliers that made the whole lobby look like a fairytale rainforest.
The St. Claire was the kind of place you didn’t step inside unless your shoes cost more than her mortgage. The kind of place where even the flower arrangements were somehow intimidating. The kind of place people like her rarely, if ever, saw from the inside, unless they were wearing a crisp white uniform with their name on the chest.
“Fancy carandfancy hotel,” she teased, hoping to disguise the panic she was currently experiencing. Thankfully, her voice sounded much more calm, cool, and collected than she was feeling.
