The knife punctured his face with a sickening crunch. He blacked out and within less than a minute Wojciech Adamik was dead.
83
She was on him in a flash. As she put her key in the lock, she felt him coming up fast behind her. Spinning, she grabbed the outstretched arm, swinging her attacker hard into the wall, while raising the key in her hand to eye level. She could blind her assailant in a second if she had to.
It was Jake. Breathless, panting, Helen dropped her arm to her side.
“What the fuck are you doing?”
Jake could hardly speak, winded by his collision with the hard brick wall, but eventually he said:
“Waiting for you.”
“Why couldn’t you ring like any normal person? Or wait downstairs?”
“I’ve tried ringing you, Helen. You know I have—I’ve left... what... five, six messages? You’ve not responded to any of them.”
His raised voice echoed round the stairwell of the building. Downstairs, James had just crashed through the front door, with another young nurse in tow, so Helen quickly slipped the key in the lock and pushed Jake inside her flat.
•••
“I was worried. I thought something might have happened to you. Then I thought I must have done something wrong. What’s going on?”
Jake was now in her front room, surrounded by her books and journals. It felt profoundly odd to have him in her space, the context somehow all wrong.
“Emilia Garanita knows about us. She knows what I come to you for and she is threatening to expose me in the press.”
Jake looked stunned, but Helen had to ask the question anyway.
“Did you tell her?”
“No, of course not. A hundred times, no.”
“Have you told anyone else? Anyone who might know her, who might have a big mouth?”
“No, why on earth would I do that? What happens is between us and no one else—you know that.”
Helen stared at the floor. Suddenly the weight of the day’s events caught up with her and she started to cry. Furious with herself, she kept her head bowed, refusing to show her weakness, but her shoulders started to shake. Things had gone so horribly, horribly wrong and most of it was down to her own weakness and stupidity. Was she destined always to be on the losing side?
Jake crossed the room and enveloped her in a warm hug. It felt good. Some people despised her, others questioned her, still others thought she was odd. But Jake had never judged her, had always cared for her, despite the unusual nature of their relationship. Helen had been starved of unconditional love all her life, but she realized in that moment that this was what Jake wanted to give her.
She had always kept him at a distance, even when he’d signaled his desire to get closer to her. Which is why it surprised him as much as Helen when she finally looked up and said:
“Stay.”
84
Sunlight flooded through the thin curtains. Charlie felt the warmth of the new day on her face and slowly opened her eyes. Memories, thoughts and feelings swirled round her fuzzy head, then suddenly she turned over, anxious to see if she’d dreamed it or not. But Steve wasn’t there—he hadn’t come home last night. It was no dream.
Charlie had tried ringing him repeatedly, but the calls had all gone straight to voice mail. Was he okay? Had something happened to him? She was sure Steve wouldn’t have left her. His stuff was all here, and besides, he was a bigger man than that. He would never walk out without an explanation.
So where was he? And why hadn’t he come home? After he had issued his ultimatum, Charlie had asked for time to think. She desperately wanted them to be together, to be a happy family, but to give up her career, give up everything she’d fought to achieve, was a huge sacrifice. But would any of it be worth it without Steve by her side? This was a circle Charlie couldn’t square.
Perhaps she’d never understood the depth of his grief over the baby they’d lost. Steve had had a name in mind for it if it was a boy. He had teased her with that when she was first pregnant, refusing to let her in on the secret. He had never mentioned it subsequently, despite Charlie’s attempts to get him to talk about it. After a while she’d stopped asking and because he was so solid, so self-contained, perhaps she had underestimated the effect it had had on him.
He was so insistent. So determined that she should do something else. Something safe that would allow them to start a family together. He had swallowed enough anger, enough anxiety, enough fear. Now it was up to Charlie to decide what life she wanted.
Except Charlie didn’t know. Couldn’t decide. The only thing she did know for sure was that she hated being alone in this big house.
