Did the universe agree with him? Or was he wrong to think that it was all his fault? Everyone is equal after death and they were all gone back to the earth. The universe made it that way.
He laid on his back and stared up at the pinkish sky. The sun was about to set, signifying the end of the day and reminding them that a new day was only a short way away.
He sighed again and his mind ran over the Chief's words: "Hold on to what is good, even if it's a handful of earth. Hold on to what you believe, even if it's a tree that stands by itself. Hold on to what you must do, even if it's a long way from here. Hold on to your life, even if it's easier to let go".
He shut his eyes as he dwelt on them. Immediately, Elaina's face popped into his head. Beautiful and kind Elaina. He sighed.
She did not deserve the meanness he showed her earlier. She had looked so excited to see him and he had muffled it with just one sentence. His head began to pound as he tried to reflect. He had to focus.
Hold on to what is good, hold on to what you believe, hold on to what you must do, hold on to your life…. Fala flashed before him just then and he sighed. He ran a hand through his hair tiredly.Hold on to your life, hold on to what you must do, hold on to what you believe. He groaned as he thought of his beliefs.I believe I only hurt those around me, but am I right to believe that? I really do not know.
Hold on to what you must do, hold on to what is good, Running Wolf jerked up. He was not sure of what he believed. He had been so sure months ago but recently, ever since meeting Elaina, he had begun to doubt his belief that he would always hurt those around him. Yes, now he knew when the doubts started. He might not be sure of what he believed in but he was sure of what was good and he knew what he had to do. Elaina was good and he had to help her. He had to continue helping her. That was the only thing he was sure of right now.
Not hesitating any longer, he jumped to his feet and ran out of the forest, making a beeline to his shack for Elaina. His strides shortened as he got closer to the open of the yard. Anxiety was settling in as he realized the gravity of the words, he had said to her. He got to the opening of the yard and stood mesmerized, watching her. She was bending over the fire pit, blowing at the flames. One hand was tucking a stray strand of hair behind her ear. Running Wolf stood there, oblivious to the world around him. There was just him and there was her. Running Wolf’s eyes narrowed and they darted around. There was something in the bushes. He could sense it. It was someone that should not be there. He moved toward the bush slowly. Hearing his name, he stopped short and turned to Elaina.
She was looking in his direction and she was no longer smiling. Keeping a reminder to check the bushes at the back of his head, he walked to her. Elaina approached him slowly. Before he could speak, she said,
“I promise we will be out of here soon. Just give us a few days, Running Wolf. That is all I ask.”
She turned around but he caught her hand, shocking himself and her. Her eyes wide, she looked up at him, “I am sorry,Elaina. You don’t have to leave. Please don’t leave when you aren’t ready.”
She tilted her head, “What are you talking about? Just this morning, you were so adamant about me leaving. You were cold and now...”
She drifted off and averted her gaze. He knew she was trying to hide how much he hurt her. There was a pang in his chest. That was the last thing he ever wanted to do, hurt her. He touched her face gently and slowly turned her to face him, “And for that, I am sorry. I should not have hurt you. I really cannot explain it. It’s just… Look, I don’t want you to leave. It won’t happen again, so you don’t have to worry that I will come here again and say all that. Take your time and leave when you are comfortable to do so.”
As he said the last words, Running Wolf felt the pang again. He really could not understand his heart. He found himself not looking forward to the day that she would have to leave. He stroked her cheek as he looked deeply into her eyes. She leaned into his touch and he gently wiped away the tears that were spilling from her eyes.
“Forgive me, Elaina.”
For a moment, they were both frozen in place, staring deeply at each other, his hands caressing her face. And then, she suddenly backed out of his hold. She cleared her throat as she dabbed at her wet cheeks. Running Wolf realized that he missed her warmth and closeness. His eyes followed her every action as she said,
“It’s fine, Running Wolf. I forgive you. And thanks for giving us a… uh… a chance to stay here longer. I really appreciate it. And you have my word that we won’t be a bother to you.”
He smiled softly, “I am not worried about that.”
“Thanks again,” she nodded slowly. She turned and he watched her as she walked away. She stopped in her tracks andturned to him.
He looked at her eagerly and she smiled softly as she said, “Do you want some beef stew? It’s…”
“Yes!” he told her eagerly.
She chuckled and motioned that he follow her. Running Wolf went after her, without a second thought. The only thing he was sure of was her, and wanting to help her. That was all that mattered to him at that moment.
“Aren’t you coming?” Elaina called out to him.
Running Wolf blinked as he realized that he had been frozen to the spot, staring at her. He had to be going crazy. He shook his head and followed her. Running Wolf settled in the shed and sighed, “That smells amazing.”
She chuckled, “Well, you still have to try it to give a final verdict.”
“I highly doubt that anything you make will be bad. I mean, look at Jessica.”
Elaina threw her head back and laughed. Running Wolf smiled, staring at her. Just when he thought she could not get any more beautiful, she laughed. It sounded like music to him.Beautiful?! Since when did you start using those words on her? What’s happening to you, Running Wolf?A voice was screaming in his head. He shook his head, shoving the voice aside.
She tilted her head and watched him try the stew. As soon as he took the first bite, his eyes went wide, “This is amazing! What did you put in it?”
She grinned, “There is a secret ingredient, but I was able to find most of what I needed at the outskirts of the forest over there.”
Running Wolf took her hand gently, alarm on his face, “Please, don’t go into the forest, all right? Several animals reside in there. Now, while most of us here have no problem with them as we are one with the earth, they aren’t the friendliest to strangers.I would even prefer it if you don’t go over the stone fence at all. Just tell me all that you need.”
