Rhea sat up straighter. “Felix, that’s—”
“I agreed to it,” he said quickly. “Iwantto do it. It’s just … I mean, it won’t be the first time he’ll have done something I genuinely can’t sexualize, but it’s going to be a whole lot in a short time. I mean, I figure I’ll have a hard-on because he’ll make sure of it with his venom, but even so…” He shuddered. “I’m going to hate it while it’shappening.”
“Then why?” Emmy asked, genuinely curious. No amount of money in the world would make her agree to that.
Felix met her gaze, and his eyes were clear, certain. “Because I trust him. Because he needs to take me that far and have me still choose him after. And because…” He looked down at his hands. “Because I love him, and love means trusting someone with the parts of you that are scared.”
The sauna fell silent except for the hiss of steam.
“Also, if I wasn’t under twenty-four/seven restrictions about not masturbating to get myself off, I’d be doing so hourly at the thoughts of the scene, so part of me, at least, is looking forward to it.”
“Fuck,” Rhea said. “You’re in deep.”
Emmy’s eyebrows rose. “You agreed to rules outside of scenes? Mr. ‘I do what I want’?”
“Apparently love makes you do crazy shit.” But his voice was fond, not bitter. “Or maybe it just makes you willing to make changes for the right person.”
Emmy thought about Spence’s confession in the Lupanar, about his fear that he couldn’t trust his own desires. About how Zander had immediately blocked his power when asked, no hesitation. About how she’d broken him open and he’d trusted her to put him back together.
“Yeah,” she said softly. “I get that.”
They sat in the heat a while longer, comfortable in their shared understanding, before heading to the showers and then the cafeteria for lunch.
That evening, Emmy sat cross-legged on the bed with her phone, staring at the contact labeledAunt Kirstenfor a good thirty seconds before finally texting her. “I’d like to get some advice, when you have time to talk.”
“Absolutely. Let me get to my room so we can talk without anyone overhearing. I’ll call you in a few minutes.”
Less than five minutes later, her phone rang, and a slightly concerned, warm voice asked, “Are you okay? What’s up?”
“I’m fine, I just need some advice,” Emmy said without preamble. “About Zander. And telepathy. And …trust.”
A pause. Then, “Ah. And you’ve heard the gossip about why I broke up with him. I’ll help you as much as I can, but it’s been decades, and from what I understand, he learned a lot from dating someone he couldn’t manipulate, and he hasn’t tried it with Spence. But again, we aren’t close anymore, so a lot of that is gossip.”
“Yeah, but gossip from Kendra, which is probably dead on.”
“Actually, Kendra won’t talk bad about him, so maybe, maybe not. However, what I get from Lauren, that she gets from Gavin, I trust more. Tell me what’s got you needing advice, and we’ll see if I can help.”
“He wants—well, I want—” Emmy took a breath, started over. “Spence and Zander have a telepathic bond. And I know they have more, but for now, I’m just considering the telepathy, not the bigger bonding thing.” She blew out a breath. “But baby steps, right? But I have to let him past myshields to initiate a path into my head for telepathy, and my mom has taught me all my life to never lower my shields, especially not for a powerful vampire.”
“And that advice would be completely appropriate if you hadn’t gone and fallen in love with a vampire.”
Emmy laughed. “Right. I figured you’d be up on the gossip.”
“Not gossip, just a mom talking to her friend. Your mom taught you the same thing she taught me — the shield around my mind is the most important strength to hold around ancient badasses.” Kirsten’s voice took on a considering quality. “Your mother is wise. And right, in most circumstances.”
“Right, but you dated Zander, and you broke up with him because he lied to you, but later, you found out he fucked with your head. Irememberthat night at Nathan’s house, and mom swept me and my siblings off to Faerie so we’d be safe, but I know Zander made some kind of back door into your mind while ya’ll were dating, and that set up a path so another evil vampire could get in.”
“Not exactly, but close enough, I suppose.” A long exhale. “Okay. This is going to be third-hand information, so take it with appropriate skepticism. It came from Gavin to Lauren to me, which means it’s probably been twisted a little. Normally I wouldn’t repeat something like this, and I’ll ask you not to continue it, but I think there’s enough truth in it that maybe it’ll help you decide.”
“Thank you. I’m listening.”
“Gavin was apparently truly disgusted with how things worked out when Abbott, now Zander, was figuring things out with Spence. Abbott gave him all the latitude he could at the time, when Spence couldn’t control his wolf, so Abbott had to. Legally, Spence had to remain a slave since he didn’t have control, but Abbott gave him some of his power, and did everything he could to give him free will. Gavin questioned it, many times, and Abbott explained that he’d learned from me that he’d grown far too comfortable controlling everyone around him. If he ever wanted a true partner, he’d have to stop doing that. He’d have to let them be themselves, even when it would be easier to …adjust their thinking.”
Emmy’s throat tightened.
“Gavin, at the time, thought I’d completely fucked his boss up, which I guess is one of the reasons he was so cruel to me when he … but that’s ancient history. Mostly.” Kirsten’s voice warmed with dry humor. “Anyway, then Gavin fell in love, and he suddenly understood. He has a new respect for how Zander treats his relationship with Spence — how he gave him power so they could be closer to equals.”
“So you think I can trust him?” Emmy asked.
