Page 76 of A Bossy Surprise

“What? Are you saying I’m slow?”

“Maybe…”

I mock gasp and try to free my arms to swat at him, but his grip tightens around me like a vice.

We both laugh as I struggle to get free.

When I realize my efforts are futile, I settle down, and we just lie there.

“Now that we’ve established we can’t keep our hands off each other, moving forward, what is this between us?” he asks.

“Well, given what we both just acknowledged, the only reasonable thing to do is date. You know, be in a relationship.”

“Really?” I can almost hear the excitement in his voice. However, he is trying to hold it at bay.

“Yeah, but I’m still concerned about so many things that I’m not sure it would be a good idea.”

“Why don’t we talk about the things you’re worried about? Perhaps I could ease some of your worries.”

I take a minute to consider whether I want to have this conversation or not and how honest I want to be. Once we start talking about this, there’s no going back.

Ultimately, I decide it’s better to leave all my cards on the table in front of him. If we’re going to do this, I need to give us the best chance possible and I can only do that by being honest with him.

“I worry about you and your reputation with women. When I knew you back in high school, you ran through girls at analarming clip. When I spoke to Lucas a few weeks ago, he informed me that that is still the case. I worry about whether I will be enough for you sexually.”

“It is true that I have been with quite a number of women. I’m not going to lie and say that the pleasures of sex had nothing to do with it, but that was only a small part. I think a lot of that had to do with finding my person; someone I could share my life with.”

“That doesn’t make me feel better. I find it hard to believe that you’ve been with so many women and have been unable to make it work with even one of them.” I expect him to respond to that. To make some sort of a defense, but he doesn’t. “Don’t you have anything to say about that?”

“No, I don’t. You’re right. I’m 26 and I’ve never been in a real relationship. Although I was with Rachel for a while, I think that relationship only lasted as long as it did because she didn’t care. I’m sure I must’ve done or said things that would have driven her away sooner if she was actually invested in the relationship. So you have a right to be worried about that.”

“What are you saying?”

“I’m saying I have feelings for you. True feelings. The only thing I can promise is to try. I know it’s probably not going to be easy for you dealing with me romantically, but I will try to be everything you want in a boyfriend.”

I smile.

That’s the only thing he could’ve said that had the power to lay this particular worry to rest.

I have real qualms about starting a relationship with him. The last thing I need are platitudes. I don’t need him to make promises about his behavior in the future, because even he doesn’t know how he’ll feel then. So I’m glad he’s taking this seriously and being realistic.

“Brady…” I say.

“What about him?”

“I’m worried about what a relationship between us would do to Brady.”

“What do you mean? Brady will be thrilled that his parents are together.”

“Exactly.”

“I’m sorry, but I’m not sure I understand what you’re saying.”

“I’m saying Brady would love nothing more than for the three of us to be a family. I don’t want to dangle that in front of his face and then snatch it away.”

“Oh…”

“Yeah. He will be devastated if we got together only to break up later. We just established that neither of us knows what the future holds. I’m not sure I’m ready to take such a huge risk with us.”