“Makes sense. Have you always done this?
“Done what?”
“Did you fight monsters before?”
“Yes.”
“What was the first one?”
He laughs, the sound echoing off the water. “A bear.”
I cock my head, my brow furrowing in confusion. “A cursed bear?”
“No, a normal one.” There’s dark humor in his voice. “There was a village that kept losing all their livestock. They’d convinced themselves it was a Leshen. Do you know what?—”
“They’re forest spirits,” I cut him off. “I know. I’ve read about a lot of things even if I haven’t actually seen them. I thought Leshens weren’t usually dangerous, though.”
“They’re not. Not unless you fuck with them, then they’re vicious. Never heard of one that went after livestock, but our alpha believed it was possible.”
I smile as I run my fingers through my wet hair, combing out the tangles. “But it was really just a bear?”
“Yeah. Good thing too. If it had been a Leshen, I wouldn’t be here.”
I giggle. “You’re saying there’s a monster you’re afraid of? I’m shocked.”
He scoffs. “‘Course I was fucking afraid. I was twelve.”
The smile slides off my face. “You said before that there are a lot of deaths.”
“There are. It’s something that you get used to.”
My stomach twists. He’s so direct about all of it, seeming unconcerned by his own potential death or the deaths of friends, but I know he can’t really be so indifferent to it. I want to comfort him somehow. Reach out and…do something.
Fox clears his throat. “Do you want the soap now?”
I startle and flip over in the water. “Sorry?”
“I’m finished with the soap.”
“Oh, alright.” I bite my lip. “I don’t know how to take it from you without, uh, looking.”
He makes a sound in his throat that I can’t interpret—not quite a growl and not quite a whine.
“What was that?”
He clears his throat. “Nothing. I’ll leave it on the rocks in the middle, then you can go get it.”
I nod, then realize he can’t see me. “Alright.”
The prickling awareness on the back of my spine starts up again as I hear the water shifting and him moving toward the center of the pool behind me. The sound of his breathing grows heavier, more distinct. My skin burns where I imagine his gaze might land, and I have to lock my muscles in place to keep from turning around.
I wonder if Fox is thinking the same thing? Probably. I’m sure he still wants me, at least physically, and if I turned around right now and announced I wanted to go back to how things were before, I doubt he would say no. But how long would that work before I couldn’t do it anymore?
I’ve never been the type to hide how I feel. As embarrassing as all this has been, I don’t think I would change it. I wouldn’t want to continue our casual relationship while secretly wantingmore. But now that it’s not a secret…now what? Maybe as long as expectations were clear I could keep my feelings separated?
“You can get the soap now,” Fox says, his hoarse voice sounding like it’s coming from the other side of the pool again.
“Oh, thanks.” I glance back very quickly to see that the soap is now lying on the bank, then swim over to grab it, returning to my original side of the pool.
