“Not what?” I ask.
He shakes his head, looking bemused. “Not annoying. At least, not anymore.”
“Does that mean I used to annoy you?” I gasp in mock horror.
He rolls his eyes. “Like I said, not anymore.”
I giggle and grin up at him, suddenly aware that we’ve moved much closer on the couch. Or rather, I’ve moved closer. Fox hasn’t shifted at all, but he also doesn’t seem bothered that I’m now practically sitting in his lap. If anything, he looks a little drunk now as his hand falls lightly onto my thigh.
I look down at his hand, then over my shoulder toward where Connell and Jett’s voices are still clearly audible coming from the dining room. I should probably move in case they come back in…but maybe I don’t have to bother.
“What did you tell Jett?” I ask breathlessly.
Fox blinks at me. “When?”
“Earlier. What did you tell him about the door slamming?”
“Oh,” he looks confused. “I didn’t say anything.”
I smile. “Only you could get away with that.”
He takes another sip of his wine, and I think he’s not going to answer, but then he says: “I think most people talk just to hear their own voices, not because they have anything useful to say. I’ve never cared enough to bother.”
“You talk to me, though.”
“I know.”
My heart swells and my breathing hitches. This isn’t the time to talk about it, but my tongue feels loose and suddenly the words are tumbling from my mouth before I can stop them.
“Listen, I actually did want to talk to you about something.”
His eyes suddenly shift and he looks nervous. “If it’s about earlier…”
“No, it’s—wait, what about earlier?”
“I thought you were mad that I stopped you from fighting.”
I must not have done a good enough job of focusing, because I take a moment to understand that he’s talking about the battle in the witch’s hut earlier today, when he put himself between me and the creature. “Oh…no, I’m not upset about that. It’s not…it’s nothing, really. I just can’t do this anymore.”
He still looks confused. “You can’t do what anymore?”
“This.” I gesture between us, at a loss for words to explain what “this” is.
Fox’s eyes widen. “You want to end it?”
“What? No.” He looks briefly relieved, then I finish. “I mean, kind of. Maybe. This isn’t coming out right.”
Fox slowly turns to put his wine glass down on an end table behind him, and when he looks back at me his expression has gone flat. There’s no more smile in his eyes, and he doesn’t even answer me, just nods for me to continue.
“I…I realized earlier that this isn’t working for me anymore. I want…more, I think.”
“More,” he echoes in a flat, vacant tone.
“Yes. Something real, what like Daemon and Alix or Odessa and Kastian have.”
He just stares at me, and even though he hasn’t moved at all, I feel like he’s completely turned away from me. My stomach sinks, but I still hold my breath waiting for him to say something.
“If that’s what you want then you should go find it,” he says finally.
