“I know I shouldn’t be trying to make you hear me, but I don’t think it matters anymore. It’s too late.”
“If you die…if you’re already dead, I know it’s my fault. I knew if I loved you, you could get hurt, and I really tried not to. For two years I’ve been trying so fucking hard not to love you.”
The rock breaks in half in my hand, and I drop the smaller half on the ground and keep hammering.
“I tried so hard not to, and I’ve been doing it for so long, that I didn’t notice that I already do. I think I’ve loved you for so long that it just feels normal. I don’t know what that means for us, but I wish I could have told you.”
“Fox?”A tentative voice sounds in my head.
I’m so surprised that I drop my rock and only narrowly avoid crushing my own foot. I jump backwards out of the way, my heart hammering against my chest.“Aurelia?”
There’s a pause that feels like the longest silence of my life.“No. I’m sorry, it’s Runa.”
I blink, bitter waves of disappointment crashing over me.
I recognize her voice now—clearly not Aurelia’s. I suck in a breath, pulling myself together. I am truly glad she’s alive, it’s not her fault she wasn’t the voice I was longing to hear.
“I’m glad to hear you,”I say, sounding flat even in my head.
“You as well,”Runa says, sounding distracted.“Where are you?”
“In a cell,”I reply dully.“I don’t know where.”
“So am I. Your friends are with me—”she breaks off.“The human is trying to talk to me at the same time, I can’t think—shut up!”
My heartbeat picks up.“Is Jett there?”
“Yes.”Her voice sounds irritated, and I assume she’s still trying to split her focus between me and what’s happening in front of her.
“What about Kai and the others?”
“No. I don’t know where they are. I didn’t know any of you were here until I, uh, heard you.”
I wince. I don’t give a fuck what she heard, or if the entire world knows I love Aurelia. I just wish I’d told her before Runa. I guess we have bigger problems right now.
“We must be near each other,”Runa says briskly.“The pirate just started shouting, can you hear him?”
I strain my ears, but I can’t hear anything except my own ragged breathing.“No, I can’t.”
She groans.“Alright, well, we’ll try to find you anyway.”
“Wait, what?”I demand, excitement crashing over me again.“You can get out of your cell?”
“Not yet, but your friends seem confident they’ll be able to. The pirate is apparently known for escaping? I don’t know how long it will take, but we’ll come find you.”
I drop the second half of my rock, and sink onto the floor, my back pressed against the wall. I close my eyes, tipping my head back, and preparing to wait for however long it takes for the others to come find me.
“Hold on,”I think, in Aurelia’s direction.“I’ll find you, I promise.”
Runa probably heard that too, but she must realize it wasn’t directed at her because she doesn’t say anything. Still, I stop talking, so that she doesn’t have to listen.
Instead, I picture Aurelia’s face—not the way I last saw her at dinner, but before. When she first came to my room two years ago; then, all those nights in the barracks, after we’d finished, I’d just listen to her talk about our friends, or her animals, or whatever strange idea she’d had. I remember her face last night, sleepy and content.
“Are you done already?” a woman’s voice calls, the sound echoing off the stone.
My head jerks up and my eyes pop open. I look around, startled, but I don’t see anyone. I get to my feet and stand at the bars of my cell, peering into the darkness of the corridor beyond.
“There’s no way out, of course,” the voice continues. “Believe me, I’ve been trying for years, but you didn’t try very long. I would have expected more than an hour of effort to save your own life.”
