Fox takes a second to read the long note, looking more concerned the further his eyes move down the page. His brow furrows as he holds the pen suspended above the paper. Finally, he writes:
Thorne was nice
I cock my head, confusion washing over me. I don't write back, just shake my head to show I don't understand what he's getting at.
I met King Thorne and heard Daemon talk about him for years. He was charming. It took decades for people to realize that he wasn't as nice as he seemed
What about me?
Now Fox is the one who looks confused.
Do you think I’m evil too and only pretending not to be?
He growls, reeling back as if I slapped him. “That’s not what I fucking meant and you should know it.”
I press a finger to my lips, reminding him to be quiet.
I know what you’re getting at, but I just mean that my entire bloodline can’t possibly be evil. We only spoke to Silvia for five minutes. I could barely think what to say. It’s a bit premature to decide she’s evil.
True, but you’re still writing as if you think we’re being watched.
If a stranger arrived in the court of Vernallis we would have them watched, it doesn’t make us evil.
He shrugs as if to say, that’s a fair point. He takes the pen back and writes:
The wolves won’t care if she’s your sister. They want to be free.
I look at him sideways. He keeps saying “them” or “the wolves” as if he wants me to forget that this affects him too. I can’t forget it.
I know. Let’s just see what happens at dinner.
Fox sighs, but nods his agreement. I stare at the side of his face, wishing I could find the right way to say more—to say everything I’m thinking.
After speaking to Fox and Runa last night, I feel like the veil of misunderstanding between us has been lifted. I’m not wondering how he feels anymore, and even though he didn’t exactly say the words out loud, I’m almost certain that he wants more with me.
I don’t know what “more” would mean to him. I know he said he didn’t think he could form a soul-bond after all this trauma, and I can respect that.
Maybe we won’t end up mated, but I think I can live with that.
Maybe he won’t ever love me exactly the way I want him to, but I can’t stand the thought of not having him at all.
I desperately want to help all the shifters, but selfishly, I want to help Fox the most. I want to know for sure what we could have if there were nothing standing between us.
I just don’t know if I’m willing to kill my own twin sister in order to find out.
Practically swaying with exhaustion, Aurelia falls asleep almost immediately and naps throughout the rest of the afternoon. I lie on my back next to her, close but not touching, and stare up at the ceiling of the silver canopy bed.
I can’t sleep.
I wouldn’t sleep, even if I wanted to, but I trulycan’t.
I don’t feel safe enough for both of us to sleep at the same time, and I’m sure as hell not going to wake Aurelia up and ask to swap.
My entire body is tense, the hair on my arms standing up, my ears catching every creak and muffled sound from the palace. I’m doing such an excellent impression of a guard dog, I might as well shift and pace in front of the door.
My mind won’t settle, circling the same thoughts over and over.I don’t trust the queen. I don’t like it here. Something is wrong.
I reach out with my mind for Kai or Luka, or even Runa, but I can’t hear any of them.
