“You die, or at the very least terrible things can happen.”
I look at him, horror washing through me. “You’ve seen that happen?”
He nods. “Happened to my parents. My father was a wolf and he fell in love with my Fae mother and tried to leave to be with her. They both died when I was six, and they’re not the only ones. I’ve watched it happen to others too. Especially those who tried to escape or formed attachments too deep withtheir partners.” His voice drops lower, and I have to lean in to hear him. “I’m certain that’s what happened with Runa and me decades ago.”
My brow furrows, my heart beating as fast as if I’m running for my life. “I heard she was the reason you went to Dyaspora, but not why…”
He looks uncomfortable. “You must have realized we were together.”
I feel a tiny stab of jealousy. Not necessarily because he used to sleep with another woman decades ago, but because they were actually together. They had more.
“Runa was attacked by the beta of our pack at the time, and I killed him,” Fox explains.
I tilt my head. “Did that make you the beta?”
He snorts. “Maybe it would have, but he had a lot of supporters, and I was sent to Dyaspora instead.”
“So you blame Runa for that?” I ask, my voice softer than I intend.
“What? No!” His eyes flash with something raw. “No, I blame myself that she was attacked in the first place.”
I furrow my brow, trying to follow his logic. The pain in his voice doesn’t match what he’s saying.
Wait, unless he means that they were more than just sleeping together. Is he saying she was attacked because her loyalty shifted, which caused something terrible to happen?
Were they that deeply in love? Perhaps, on the verge of forming a soul-bond?
Sometimes bonds can begin to form, but can take a long time to mature or be severed before they’re able to fully lock into place. For the Fae, there are signs a partial bond is forming—enhanced possessiveness, a sense of what the other might be feeling in times of extreme emotion, and typically, when wings come out during intimacy.
Sometimes it’s hard to tell though, because all of those things can happen for other reasons, and while it might seem obvious to some that a bond is forming, others find it difficult to know for sure.
Maybe that’s the same with the shifter mating bonds?
I’m at war with myself. Part of me burns with jealousy, imagining Fox and Runa together, their bond so deep it nearly killed her. But another voice in my head whispers this can’t be right. The pieces don’t fit. I stare at Fox’s face, searching for the truth behind his words, but all I see is pain that doesn’t match the story he’s telling me.
He runs a hand through his hair. “I don’t want to talk about Runa,” he says, voice rough. “She probably hates me now anyway. She was sharing a tent with Viktor and I just killed him.”
“She saved me earlier,” I blurt out. As much as I hate to say it, he deserves to know.
Fox blinks, his pale eyes widening. “She did?” he asks, and I can’t tell whether the emotion flickering across his face is relief or something else entirely.
I nod. “She wasn’t on Viktor’s side, so maybe it’s more complicated. If you wanted…I don’t know.”
“If I wanted what?”
I suck in a steadying breath. “If you wanted more with her, I think she might be open to it.’
His face twists, total confusion and something like disgust crossing his face. “What the fuck are you talking about?”
“I’m just saying if you still love her…”
He scoffs. “I don’t. I don’t regret helping her, but I don’t care about her like that anymore. I’m not sure I ever really loved her. Not like I?—”
He breaks off, and I stare transfixed at him, holding my breath while I wait for him to finish.
“—Not like I should have,” he says, finally.
I deflate.
