Malachi gave me space after everyone left in the middle of the night. But I've felt his restlessness through the bond all day. A low hum of impatience. Of worry.
I pull open the door. He's wearing a clean navy tunic and matching pants. His hair is damp, freshly washed.
His frown deepens when he sees what I'm wearing. "You didn't go to the clinic?"
"I didn't think I should." I glance past him, checking for Kage. We're alone. "I'm not sure we should stay here much longer."
"We can stay tonight. Tomorrow, we’ll go somewhere else." His jaw tightens as he searches my face. "I can't do this anymore."
My stomach drops. "Do what?"
"This!" He throws his hands up and lets them fall against his sides. "Tell me what changed between that kiss, which I can'tstop replaying every second of every godsdamned day, and that meeting with the Sages. Tell me what they said to you."
The breath I take catches in my throat.Gods. I've imagined this conversation a thousand ways. Not once did I think he'd mention the kiss. For the thousandth time, I think how much easier this would be if he were just some outsider. A stranger passing through for the Moon Festival.
But if that were true, he wouldn't mention the kiss. Wouldn't want to speak at all. We wouldn't have gotten to know each other. Wouldn't have these feelings between us. This longing. This ache. Thisadhoranelo. I sort through every scenario I prepared. In the end, there are only two choices.
I can tell him the truth. Risk losing his private smiles. The heat in his eyes when he looks at me. His warmth. His kindness. Those moments of possession. His rapt attention.
I'll lose those things eventually. The prophecy guarantees it. The Flame confirmed it. But I don't have to lose them now. I could pull him to me. Kiss him. Get lost in the moment.
The moment the thought forms, I think of all the choices that have been taken from us. From him. The choices I've taken from others, and I know I can't take this one from him. I won’t.
I remember what he told me once:Tomorrow's stories shouldn't diminish today's actions.I can't ignore this any longer. Maybe he'll hate me. Maybe he won't. But that will be his choice to make. And mine to live with.
"You're right," I say after a long moment. "We need to talk."
Concern flickers across his face. It almost makes me want to take it back. Instead, I turn and walk to my bed. Sit cross-legged against the pillows.
His eyes widen. "You want to talk in here? In bed?"
"It won't matter. I doubt you'll want to rip my clothes off after you hear what I have to say."
His eyebrow rises. "I'm fairly certain that would never be the case."
I huff out a laugh, tucking my knees into the tunic and hugging them to my chest. "I'm fairly certain you're wrong."
"Should I remind you that I'm rarely wrong?" He kicks the door shut behind him and steps inside.
I shake my head and watch him look around, considering his options. He crosses to the seating area, picks up one of the wing-backed chairs, and carries it to my bedside. He sits. Waits.
I take a breath. "Tell me about your debt."
Surprise flickers across his face. Then his eyes narrow. "Why?"
"Mortiana said she cannot speak of the dead. But you can. If you're willing to tell me about your debt."
He goes completely still. "You answered her summons?"
"Answered?" I raise an eyebrow. "As if I had a choice?"
The lights flicker. "Every time you step into that room, every time you approach the Flame, you're making a choice."
"I don't know how not to answer." My voice is calmer than I feel. "She gave me things to ask you. Things to tell you. Things I don't want to say."
"What kind of things?" That quiet, dangerous tone again. The one that makes my neck prickle.
"She wants you to take me to her."
