His large hands grip my thighs and spread my legs. He standsup, and for a moment, he takes me in, running a hand through his hair like he’s overwhelmed and doesn’t know where to start. Then, he’s back on his knees and his mouth is on me, his tongue working me until I’m screaming and coming with his name on my lips. I’m still shaking when I feel his hands on the bed again. I force my eyes open and find him naked on top of me, a condom underneath his right hand.
Before he puts it on, I reach between us and grab him, stroking him once, twice. On the third stroke, he closes his hand around my wrist, and I look up with questioning eyes.
“I want to come while I’m inside you, and if you keep doing that...” He sets his forehead against mine with a shaky laugh and takes a moment to open the condom wrapper.
I take my eyes away from his to watch as he slides it on, growing wetter with each movement he makes. He grabs my thighs again and pushes my legs up as he sinks into me slowly—so, so slowly, I think I might die. Once he’s fully inside me, he stops and blows out a harsh breath.
Hooded eyes meet mine again. “You good?”
I bite my lip and nod. And then he starts moving. He grips my thighs hard as he thrusts in and out of me, fast, hard, and with a look of concentration as he accommodates my legs and hips. It takes me a moment to realize he’s going off my responses. He’s studying every moan, every gasp, and adjusting so he’s fucking me in a way that elicits that response. My core tightens, and I screw my eyes shut and moan again.
“Oh my god. Right there,” I pant, as he lets go of my legs and grabs my hips, driving into me harder and harder.
“FUCK,” he growls, and then I feel his fingers rubbing me, and it’s all too much. “I want to see your eyes when you come for me.”
My eyes pop open and my stomach bottoms out for a moment, just before I fall apart, shaking and writhing, and saying unintelligible things.
“Fuck, Josslyn.” He thrusts once, twice, three times, his gripgetting tighter on my waist, his eyes not leaving mine until he explodes in spurts I feel through the condom.
He lowers his face and kisses me—a long, passionate, toe-curling kiss that consumes me. When he pulls away, he tucks his face in my neck and lets himself fall against me. I gasp but realize I like it. I like the feel of his weight on me and his breath against my neck.This is the last time. Just one more night. I repeat the reminder again and again. It doesn’t matter that he acted like tonight was a true date, laughing and talking to our friends as he set his hand on my thigh, an arm draped over the back of my chair. It doesn’t matter that it felt good to have his undivided attention. It was one magical night, but it doesn’t change anything.
31
FINN
Igot no sleep, but somehow I feel wired. It’s Josslyn. It’s always fucking Josslyn. I rub my face and plop back on my bed with an exhale. She fell asleep after the third time we fucked, and I stayed and watched her until four in the morning. It took effort for me to walk out of her apartment, as if every cell in my body wanted me to stay. On the way up to the penthouse, I told myself it was because I wanted to fuck her again when her five a.m. alarm went off. Justone last time.
I remind myself that I was trying to get close to Josslyn to find out what happened the night Mallory died. I’ve been doing a shit job of it, which just further proves that I’m the worst brother. I’m aware of that, but my mind won’t stop spinning with thoughts of her. It is now eight o’clock and I have golf with the guys in two hours.AndI’m picking up Lachlan and his brother on the way there, which means I only have one hour to get a nap in. I wish I could, but every time my eyes shut, I see her, I smell her, I hear those little gasps and breathy moans in my ear, and I get hard again. God damn Josslyn.
I was supposed to be done by now. I was supposed to havealready fucked another woman, the palate cleanser I’d promised myself, and be finished with all thoughts of Josslyn. She’s supposed to be long gone from my mind, like every other woman I fuck. She’s not. If anything, she kicked her shoes off and settled in. I hate it. I hate thinking about her and wanting her, wishing I could see the way her eyes light up in defiance whenever she gets pissed off at me.
I only have myself to blame, but Josslyn was never going to be a faceless woman. I knew it from the moment I saw her that night in the hot pink dress. God, I’m an idiot. I pick up my phone. Before I left, I turned on the location on her phone and shared it with myself. Is it messed up? Maybe. Crazy? Depends who you ask. Illegal? Absolutely, which is why I’m not telling Lucas or Ham about it. The little dot says she’s no longer home. I enlarge the map and toss my phone with a groan when I realize where she is. It’s going to be a long fucking day.
An hour later, I’m in Lachlan’s driveway looking at her car and cursing myself for agreeing to this. I should’ve told Lach to stop being a bitch and drive himself. What’s the point of owning five cars if you don’t drive them? I get out of my car and walk to the front door, nodding at the guard as I pass him. Liam opens the door before I can even knock.
“Hey, man,” he smiles and bumps his fist against mine in greeting as I walk inside. “Lach’s almost ready. He’s making sure, for the hundredth time, that Lyla will be okay without him for a few hours.” He rolls his eyes. “Lyla’s probably going to throw a party when he leaves. He doesn’t let her breathe.”
That makes me laugh. I’ve never met a man as obsessed with his wife as Lachlan. I came into the league when he was on his way out, but the veterans used to say that even though Lach was single, he’d skip parties and dinners, and ignore the puck bunnies who threw themselves at him. Instead, he’d look for Lyla in every city they went to. Being from Fairview and hearing snippets of what happened to them, I understood why he was protective of her.
Having known them for years now, I can’t imagine them everbeing apart. Then again, I feel that way about all of my friends with spouses. Probably because when I met them, they were already together. The only person I’ve witnessed go from player to devout husband is my cousin Asher, Lucas’ older brother. Ash played professional soccer and was known to have women in many cities. None of us thought he’d ever settle down, but then he met Brit, and suddenly he only had eyes for her. It was weird and completely unrelatable.
But when I practically forced myself to leave Josslyn’s side this morning ... Jesus.What the fuck is wrong with me?I’m out of sorts from a lack of sleep. It’s the only explanation as to why I’m thinking about this at all. At the sound of a familiar voice, my entire body tenses and my heart pounds a little harder. Liam continues to guide me further into the house toward the voices. I haven’t even seen her yet and my palms are sweating. I wipe them roughly against my pants, hoping to rid myself of these nerves. When was the last time I felt uncomfortable in front of a woman? Never. The answer isnever. What have I gotten myself into? I swallow hard and focus on keeping my face blank and my heart rate reasonable.
“Can we go in the pool now, Joshlyn?” Theo asks.
They’re in the kitchen, and I only have a few seconds to finish mentally preparing myself before Liam turns in their direction.
“The pool?” Liam asks. “I wasn’t invited to this!”
Theo giggles, and I force myself to round the corner. My eyes instantly land on Josslyn, and I hear my audible inhale. From the knowing look Liam shoots over his shoulder, I know they heard it too.
“Hey!” Theo says excitedly as he rushes over and slams into my legs, making me stagger back a step. “You came back!”
I ruffle his hair and wink. “I told you I would.”
“You said you would bring ice cream next time,” Theo says, pulling back to cross his arms and pout.
“Theo,” Josslyn warns, and my heart rate spikes again.
