I’ve never paid much attention to those accounts. Some arejust fan accounts, which I don’t mind, but the ones that are about my lack of a love life are ridiculous. They make it seem like I fuck every woman I see. A handful of times I was pictured having lunch and dinner with my cousin’s wife, and it became a whole thing since we’d met up multiple times. When they found out who she was, it went from “the woman who tamed Finn Barlow” to “Finn Barlow is having an affair with his cousin’s wife.” Fucking ridiculous.
Thankfully, Asher is a smart, secure man who knows I would never do that, butwhat the fuck?Then, there’s the fact that one of my lawyers is a woman. And my money manager. My accountant’s daughter had to deal with the circus multiple times. It’s fucking ridiculous, but I’ve never cared enough to do something about it. Right now, I wish I could. Right now, I wish I could—if only to give Josslyn one less thing to doubt. Though if she's keeping up with them, she’ll soon realize she’s the only one in any pictures with me.
“I can’t believe you were having me followed for so long,” she says after a moment. “I feel like you know me so much better than I know you.”
“That’s not true.”
“It is, Finn. You have pictures of some pretty intimate moments,” she says. “And for someone who claims he’s jealous of my exes, you sure looked at a lot of pictures of me and Tate.”
My jaw tics. I fucking hated seeing those pictures. “It was my personal hell,” I tell her.
“I just don’t understand what you thought you’d find. I get that you thought I was hiding something, but what would following me accomplish?”
“I had a PI on Titus. I thought maybe I’d find him with another young girl or … I don’t know. Something. But then I saw you in some pictures when you were out to dinner as a family and I just…” I exhale, completely aware that this is making me sound like a creep.
“You just what?”
“I told myself I was having you followed because I wanted to find out what you were hiding, but I just wanted more of you. Evenif it meant seeing you with that asshole. Those one-night stands I had were nameless. Faceless. I never looked at any of them again. But you? You, I couldn’t stop—can’t stop—looking at or thinking about or wanting.”
“God, Finn,” she whispers. “I hate it when you say stuff like that.”
I bark out a laugh that I’m sure startles some of the guys in front of me. “What? The truth?” We’re both quiet for a long time before I say, “Look, we’re adults. We each have a past. It’s probably good that you’ve dated those idiots, so you can see they’re nothing compared to me.”
She makes apshsound. “You’re so arrogant.”
“So you’ve said.”
“Hey, Finn,” she says quietly.
I shut my eyes and take a breath. I love it when she says that to me in that soothing tone. “Yeah.”
“I miss you. A lot.”
My breath gets caught in my throat. “I miss you too, baby. So fucking much.”
“Good.”
My lip twitches. “So, you’re not leaving me?”
“I’m not leaving you.”
All of my annoyance melts away at once.She’s not going to leave me over this.I shut my eyes and take a breath, wishing I could reach through the phone and lift her into my arms. When I feel the bus come to a stop, I say my goodbyes and promise I’ll call her when I get to the hotel in Toronto. I’ve never missed a game, but the way I’m feeling right now, I wish I could take a flight home instead.
It certainly gives me a new appreciation for my friends with families. They go home to be with their wives for the birth of their children and come right back to keep playing, as if their lives hadn’t forever been altered. That’s exactly what Josslyn is—life-altering—and there’s no way in hell I’m ever letting her go.
50
JOSSLYN
Ididn’t tell Finn that I’m meeting Leo at the coffee shop. I haven’t told him about Leo at all. I don’t know that there will be anything to tell him, and I don’t want to distract him from his games. I asked Olivia to accompany me, though, and she’s sitting at a separate table doing homework while I sit with Leo. So far, I’ve got nothing. He was on a call when I got here, and he’s still on it five minutes later. I sip my coffee and look outside to watch the people walking by during their lunch breaks.
“I’m sorry about that,” Leo says, as he hangs up and puts his phone in the inside pocket of his jacket. “You look different today.”
I laugh. “Yeah.”
Different is an understatement. We’re going to basketball practice in a few hours, so I’m wearing a t-shirt and basketball shorts, and my hair is up in a ponytail. A far cry from the Josslyn he’s seen at Onyx and Pearl.
“You look younger like this.” His eyes are warm as he looks at me. After a moment, he reaches into his briefcase and sets some papers on the table. He locks eyes with me again. “No one knowsI’m doing this. Johnny would have me killed if he finds out, so I trust you won’t say a word.”
