“Lenora?”
I took a very deep breath and let it out as I closed my eyes. New clarity broke through my thoughts. I’d been walking around without a purpose for so long that I’d forgotten the most important thing. My newfound freedom didn’t just extend to my future in business decisions. Freedom allowed me to choose who I wanted to be. Not that De Luca girl whose life was planned out, not Giuseppe’s untouchable virgin daughter, not the woman with the unbreakable arranged marriage. I’d chosen Rocco. Me. I’d done that. Now I had my own business, my own apartment, and was free to make my own choices. I’d chosen to walk down the street today instead of getting in a car. I’d chosen to walk to Scarab. With that in mind, I opened my eyes and reminded myself that I was whoever the fuck I wanted to be. I turned around and wished I’d given myself a little pep talk on how to react to him, because the moment I saw him, my insides began to play tug of war. He looked tired and in need of a haircut, with bags under his eyes and a shadow on his face. If possible, his muscles looked more pronounced, as if he’d been living at the gym. As I walked over, he looked at me like he wasn’t sure whether I was real or a mirage.
“How’d you know I was here?” I asked, stopping a couple of steps from him.
His eyes took me in from head to toe and back, his mouth slightly parted like he still wasn’t quite sure I was here. “I saw you on the cameras.”
I gave a nod and looked away, smiling at a mother walking by with her little girl.
“What are you doing here?” he asked, clearing his throat.
“Oh, I was just in the neighborhood.” I shrugged. “Figured it was a nice day for a walk.”
His brows pulled as his blue eyes went up and down the block, searching for security detail, no doubt. I hoped the man my mom had following me was well hidden.
“You’re here alone?”
“Yep.”
He looked like he didn’t approve, but he didn’t say anything as his eyes studied every inch of my face. “Were you going to come inside?”
“I thought about it,” I said, “Then I realized that if you wanted to see me, you would have reached out by now.”
“How?”
“Via phone, like everyone else.”
“I don’t have your number.”
“Dominic said you were the one who bought the phone and put in everyone’s numbers.”
“That doesn’t mean I took the liberty of saving yours in mine,” he said.
That hurt but I didn’t react. “Why?”
“Because if I had it, I would have called you every single day.”
I swallowed. “And you didn’t want to?”
“Of course I wanted to.” He ran his fingers through his hair and let out an unamused chuckle.
“You’re going to have to explain this to me then, because I don’t understand what you’re saying.” I crossed my arms.
“Can you. . .” He looked toward Scarab. “Do you want to come inside?”
I looked at him for a long moment as I thought about it. Even in his state of disarray, he was the most handsome man I’d ever seen. My ideal man. The one I’d loved for as long as I could remember. The one I finally had and lost, and if I was reading this correctly, could have again. I wanted him. I wanted him to pull me into his arms and kiss me, to tell me that he was sorry and he loved me, and to say all the things I’d pictured him telling me every night before I went to bed. I wasn’t going to makethatmove, though. Not this time. I reached into my bag and pulled out a card and a pen. My mom had cards made for me with the coffee shop’s information. I’d laughed and told her to keep up with the times. We didn’t hand out business cards anymore; we added each other on Snap. She was unamused, and right now I was grateful for this. I wrote down my phone number and address and clicked the pen as I put it away.
“I’m having a housewarming party tonight, in case you want to come.” I handed him the card. He took it, looked at it, and glanced up at me again. “The party starts at eight. You can come at seven.”
His mouth twitched. A simple gesture that warmed me inside. “Will you be there at seven?”
“I will.” I smiled at him, turned around, and walked away.
44
ROCCO
I’d replayedmy interaction with Lenora a million times when she left, a million more at the barbershop, and a million more as I showered and got dressed. I’d be lying if I said I’d been completely in the dark. I knew she’d been to Italy and Connecticut. I knew she’d been here for a couple of weeks, but I wasn’t expecting that to last very long. It was one of the many reasons I’d stayed away. At first, I stayed away because of what I’d done to her dad, which both Dominic and Gabriel told me was a shit reason to not go after her. Then, because she finally got her freedom. For the first time in her life, she could do whatever she wanted to do, and I didn’t want to hinder her options. She could go to India, California, or Japan.
