I couldn’t wrap my head around it. Dad had never been mean to my mom, not in front of me anyway. They didn’t kiss in public. They didn’t hold hands or do whatever else couples in love do. I would say it was because they’d been together for so long, but my mother's parents always showed affection.
“I can’t explain why. Love is just a feeling,” she said.
I tore into another croissant. Strawberry, this time. “The two of you don’t even touch or kiss.”
“In public? Not often, no.”
“You don’t look like you’re in love.”
She laughed. “Love changes.”
“He has mistresses.”
“He does,” she said matter-of-factly. “I didn’t expect him not to. After all, I was his mistress in the beginning.”
“What?” I dropped my croissant.
“He was still married to the boys’ mother.”
I gasped. “And you knew that?”
“We became friends first. He told me his entire life story, including everything about his wife. They’d been living completely separate lives for a few years by then. He'd been in Italy and hadn't stepped foot in America, while his ex had fallen in love with another man. She'd been after your father for a divorce, but he wouldn't grant it.”
“Because he doesn’t like letting go of people,” I said.
“And she was the mother of his children,” she said. “It was hard for him to give up control, but then he met me and decided he wanted me more than he wanted to control her.”
“Did she know about you?”
“Oh, yes. She was thankful I came along and finally granted her wishes. We got along great. Carmela was an incredible woman. She raised two great men. I was only there to help out.”
“So technically, you weren’t his mistress.”
“If you take it at face value, I was.”
“These women are just mistresses, though.”
“Who’s to say he won’t leave me for one of them?” she asked, amused.
“Wouldn’t he have done it by now?” I asked. “Besides, what’s the point if you let him walk all over you?”
“Nora.” She laughed. That melodic sound always made me smile, but my head felt like it might explode, so I wasn’t laughing now.
“I’m serious.”
She shook her head, still smiling. “Maybe sending you off to boarding school your entire life wasn’t the best thing.”
“Then, why did you?”
“It was more stable than what was happening at home with the attacks at the time.”
“You mean the one that killed Dom and Gabe’s mom?”
“Yes,” she said, her eyes glossy, her voice wavering. Anytime she talked about their mother, she cried.For them, she’d always say,for the loss they had to bear. “It got pretty bad in Italy as well.”
“Oh.” I didn’t know that.
“But to answer your previous question, your father does not walk all over me. Maybe it seems that way, but it’s not the case. He has other women because I allow it.”
