“She’ll be safe,” I said.
If we ransacked them, they wouldn’t have time to react. By the time they realized what was happening, it would be over. At least, that was how it played out in my head. Even after settling on the plan, I couldn’t shake the uneasiness in my gut. Lenora lay back down, setting her head on my chest. I turned the lights off, closed my eyes, kissed the top of her head, and squeezed her tight, wishing I could cocoon her inside me so she would never get hurt.
“Roc,” she whispered.
“Hm.”
“What about my dad?”
My eyes popped open. I stared at the dark.
“Rocco.”
“What are you asking me, Lenora?”
She sat up. I did, as well. Even though we were in the dark, we were close enough to see each other. “Are you going to. . .” She took a breath. “Are you going to hurt him?”
“Yes.”
“Will you kill him?” she whispered.
“Yes.”
She let out a strangled sob that made my heart sink. I reached for her and she let me. She let me wrap her in my arms and hold her as she cried. When she was finished, she took a few gasping breaths and wiped her face.
“Please don’t kill him.”
I tensed. “You can’t ask that of me. I’ll give you the world, anything you fucking want, but you can’t ask that of me.”
“Rocco,” she shouted, crying again. “I know he’s a monster. I know he deserves to pay for what he’s done. But there are other ways. There has to be another way to get payback.”
“This is the only way I know.”
“No.” Her tortured voice was a knife to my heart. “Please.”
“What would you have me do, Lenora? What’s the alternative?”
“He could go to jail. He’ll serve life. He’ll rot there, but at least he’ll still be. . .alive,” she whispered.
I shook my head. “This is how it has to be.”
“It doesn’t.” She pulled away and got out of bed. “Who made the rules? Why does death have to be the price everyone pays?”
“Come back to bed.” I reached out for her, but she took another step back. “Not until you promise.” She gasped another sob. “Not until you promise you’ll try another way.”
I put my hands over my face and sighed deeply. I couldn’t do that. I was a lot of things, including a liar, but I wouldn’t lie to her. This would be our downfall, the thing that would eventually tear us apart. She stormed out of the room, slamming the door shut as she left. The room felt cold, dreadful in her absence. I wondered if I should make peace with it, and whether this would be the beginning of the end.
32
LENORA
I was gettingdizzy from going over the plan so many times, but I agreed that it was a good one. As long as I kept up the ruse, it should work. I was sure I could do it. After all, I’d coasted through life pretending. Thinking back on it now, I had been so trusting of my parents, my father specifically. He’d even pitched my arranged marriage as some sort of favor to me because I needed a strong man, a wealthy man, to take care of me when he was gone. He’d continuously said that, and I bought into it for many years. I’d even bragged about it once or twice in college when my few friends were obsessing over finding their soulmates. I’d said, “Thank God I don’t have to worry about that.” But then, Papà chose Adriano Salvati, and my acceptance of it faltered.
It wasn’t just that he was too old for me and I wasn’t attracted to him. Adriano was very popular amongst the ladies back in Italy. I took comfort in that. I had no qualms about turning a blind eye to his indiscretions if it meant he’d spent less time trying to touch me, until he expected me to start popping out kids. I shivered at the thought. I’d been wanting an out so badly that I hadn’t even stopped considering what it meant for my father. And that was before we found out that he had their mothers murdered. I went through the plan again and shut my eyes, willing the pain in my chest away.
If I went through with this, I’d be sealing my father’s fate. My actions would set the plan in motion, and if Rocco made good on his promise, I’d never see my father again. I understood that what he’d done demanded some sort of punishment. If I tried, I could understand why they wanted to kill him. I wasn’t an idiot. I knew my father was horrible, but he was still my father. He was still the man who untangled my hair when I was little and taught me how to ride a bicycle. He was still the one who gifted Aanya to me when he saw how lonely I was during his visit, the summer of my junior year at boarding school. We didn’t always get along. He made decisions for me that drove me crazy, but he was still my father. I couldn’t explain this to anyone except maybe Dominic, and I was sure he wouldn’t understand since our dad murdered his mother. Rocco was out for blood. I was scared about what would happen if he made good on his promise. Would I see him the way I did now, or would he become a monster like everyone said my father was? I swallowed back my sob. I was sick of crying.
“Hey.” Dominic walked over and sat opposite me on the Greyhound we were traveling back to New York in. Another ruse.
