Shannon nodded. I leaned forward.
“The thing you have to understand,” Shannon said quietly, “is that Natalie is not well.”
“Allegedly,” Erin added nervously. “She’sallegedlynot well.”
Shannon began to describe, in halting stutter steps, a different world than the one we were living in. An upside-down land. A straight shot into Hell.
“… called me all these terrible names … straddled me … my jeans were around my feet … screaming …”
Doug said suddenly, “What is this?”
“I felt so terrified, and she wouldn’t get off me—”
“Natalie,” Doug said, “what is she saying?”
“—felt so violated—”
“Natalie.”
“I told her to get off me, I wasscreamingfor her to get off me—”
She didn’t scream.
Caleb looked at me. Amelia looked at me. Doug and thelawyers looked at me. I hadn’t meant to say it aloud, but it was true, wasn’t it? “She didn’t,” I said, suddenly defensive, “because there was nothing to scream about. She’s lying. Obviously she’s lying. I mean—”
In the background, Erin went on. “—certainlysoundslike a moment that was … erotic in nature—”
I felt insane. I laughed, or tried to laugh.
“I can’t speak to her sexuality, but I can say it felt very violating for me—”
Next to me, Caleb said quietly, almost to himself, “I don’t get it.”
Upstairs, my phone was buzzing. I could feel it in my veins. A steady wave of comments, flooding the computer chip, threatening to short-circuit it. Millions of opinions, rising in my ears, a deathly choral scream.
I reached for the remote control and pressed the power button. Shannon and Erin disappeared.
“Hey,” Doug snapped. “We need to watch this.”
“Come on,” I said, “this is ridiculous. She’s spewing lies!” I forced out a laugh. “Does anyone actually think I’m gay?”
One of the lawyers cleared her throat uncomfortably. “Well, I imagine some people will absolutely think that, yes.”
“This is a problem,” Doug said. “This is a very, very big problem. And I like to befully awareof problems.” He reached across Caleb’s lap and snatched the remote from my hands, then turned the television back on, right as Erin was saying, “Do you have anything you’d like to say to Natalie, if you could?”
Shannon looked straight at the camera, at me, and smiled a perfect—and I mean perfect—smile. Soft, smart, feminine. The holy trinity. “I forgive you, Natalie.”
A swell of fury rose in me, so sudden it knocked my thoughts off-kilter, sent them spilling over the levies of my mind.
Liar. Homewrecking cuntbitch—
“Natalie,” Caleb said. “My God. Stop.”
I froze.
“Well,” Erin said, “I think we can leave the conversation theretoday. Thank you so much, Shannon, for coming tonight and speaking your truth …”
Doug pressed mute and Erin fell silent. Then he turned to me and said, “You didn’t tell me the whole truth. And now, little missy, all of us are fucked.”
