Sofia looks up at me, raising her eyebrows as if the conversation got disproportionately more interesting.
“Yeah?” she says, amused.
“How long ago did that happen?”
She smiles at my words, knowing exactly why I’m asking.
“It’s been years too. Silvie is still caught up on her, but Valentina never liked her. I think she was trying to fill a void.”
I wonder if Sofia knows what the void was.
She looks over at Valentina and pokes her leg with her toes. Her body moves, but she’s still asleep.
“She had feelings for me,” she finally says, softly.
The fact that Sofia knows shocks me right to my core. I guess I can’t be too surprised. I knew immediately after seeing the way Val looked at her for just a mere moment.
“It was sometimes awkward. I felt bad often. Sometimes I wished I was queer just so I could date her.” She chuckles softly. “But I’m not. And she’s truly my best friend. I hated seeing her suffer. Nothing I did would change it. I was hoping my wedding would help her move on. Maybe even seeing Silvie would help jolt her from her trance of being in love with me.”
“I see.”
“And here you are,” she says, grinning.
“What? What do you mean?”
“Oh, please, prima. She clearly likes you. You’ve been hanging out all week, and I haven’t seen her this happy in years.”
I laugh. “No, there’s no way.”
“Uh, why would you think that?” Sofia asks.
“Because—” I hesitate again. “She told me not to fall in love with her when we first met. So why would she say she likes me? Plus, she’s in love with you still. Or maybe she even still likes Silvana. Who knows. She’s kind of a flirt, I feel like.”
“She really said that?” she whispers back, playing along.
“Not to fall in love with her? Yeah, it’s exactly the type of thing a player would say, anyways. So.”
“And did you?”
“Did I what?”
“You know.” Sofia laughs and splashes me with river water.
“No, I did not. I am just curious. About things. And her relationship with Silvie. That’s all. And again, she’s in love with you. Even if I was remotely interested, I don’t have a chance. She’s stuck. She’ll probably end up back with Silvana anyways.”
I try to keep my voice steady, but the words sound hollow even to me. The thought of Valentina choosing Silvana doesn’t feel right—it doesn’t even make sense. But still, I let the lie settle, using it as a shield against the truth I’m too scared to admit.
“I can’t risk getting hurt,” I finally say, more quietly this time, my voice tinged with vulnerability.
Not to mention, I’m keeping secrets from everyone in the family, including her. She’s been nothing but helpful to me, and I’ve just been a fraud, making her think I’m a moderately wealthy and successful restauranteur.
A flock of geese flies ahead in the distance in an iconic V shape. I wonder where they’re going. I doubt they have to deal with love problems like this. Maybe if I believe hard enough, I can grow wings and fly away from all my responsibilities. I tilt my head back and watch them slowly fly away. I swish my hands in the water, leaning back on my tube to feel the cold river against my fingertips. Maybe I’ll turn into a fish instead.
“Oh, my sweet, sweet cousin,” Sofia says, patting my head. “You don’t know Valentina at all. She’s not some sort of player. Sure, she puts on a facade, but she’s the most hopeless romantic person I know. She’s also my best friend, and I can tell when she likes someone. And you, prima, she likes.”
I double-check Valentina’s tube to make sure she hasn’t been awake this entire time, listening to our conversation.
“So what should I do?”
