“She’s not in a relationship, she’s flirting—”
“And if she needs chemo, she can’t live on her own. She’ll have to move back in with me.”
“Whoa, Roshan, slow down. She is fine right now. Her results are good. And she doesn’t need you hovering.”
“I’m not hovering,” he insisted. “I’m looking out for her. Keeping her from getting hurt.” He nodded at the lifeguard. “For when he loses interest because she’s sick.”
“You don’t know that.”
“That doesn’t mean it won’t happen.”
Nimita pressed her mouth into a line and shook her head at him. “Roshan. She doesn’t need you like that.”
He paled. “Of course she needs me. She needs someone to look out for her.”
“No. She doesn’t. She’s great.” Nimita’s voice was firm. “If you love her, you need to let her go.”
“Let her go?” Roshan’s eyes went bright. “What does that even mean? She’s my family. I can’t just stand by when I could help her—”
“Help her? You’re talking about keeping her from living a full life,” Nimita insisted. “If you let her go—”
“You don’t understand.” His eyes were dark, his voice gruff. “You don’tlet someone goif you love them.” He said the words as if they were beneath him.
Nimita’s walls went up.
“She refuses to acknowledge what’s best for her…what could happen if she just goes and has fun. Things have gone wrong before, and my parents couldn’t handle it. She couldn’t handle it.” He swallowed hard. “I need stay close to her. Why do you think I live in San Diego? She wanted to go to school here. I relocated my practice here, bought us a town house. It’s my responsibility.”
“It doesn’t have to be—”
“What should I do instead, hop on an airplane and leave the second things get hard?” His eyes widened even as he spoke the words. But he didn’t take them back.
Nimita felt like she’d been slapped. “That’s what you think I did, isn’t it? That Ijust left. That I walked out on my family without a thought.”
“Didn’t you?”
Hurt and anger filled all the spaces in her body. Of course that was what he thought, that was what she had done. “You were the one who stuck around, sacrificed your own happiness for your family, while I was the one whoselfishlyleft.” She paused for breath. “I was the selfish one who wanted to live her own life, on her own terms. I am the one who abandoned her family.” She should have seen this coming. “I should have known that someone like you, someone who sacrificedeverythingfor his family could never understand me.”
Around them, the dhol beat faster as people started dancing. Purple and yellow and orange powder was thrown in the air. Somehow, the sun still shone, music still played, and people still celebrated.
“I shouldn’t have… That’s not what I meant.” But his voice was weak and without determination.
“Except that it is.” She started to turn away but stopped and looked back at him. “You stay and continue to sacrifice your own life for your family. Sooner or later, you were going to notice that I ran from mine.” She paused and shook her head. “I let youdriveme to the airport.” She walked back into the mandhir to get away from the crowd. Away from him.
Spring was a time of renewal and love.
Sometimes love was just not enough.
Chapter Seventeen
He was hollow. Numb. Yesterday morning he had the most amazing woman by his side. Today she was gone.
Maybe his parents were right, she didn’t really understand what it was like to have a sick sibling—how much he was responsible for. He couldn’t afford to be distracted. He was haunted by that day at the park, the sickening crack of Malini’s ankle as she fell from the monkey bars. She’d never understood the limits imposed by her cancer. It had been up to him.
But he felt awful for the things he had said to Nimita. He hadn’t meant them to hurt her. Part of him wanted to apologize. Part of him wanted to explain.
He did neither.
It wouldn’t change anything. His parents were right. Nimita had distracted him from being there for Malini. She simply did not understand what it meant to take care of a sick family member. How hard it was to take risks.
