“Did Vishal and Karan go with you?”
“Sometimes. But Karan would complain he was hungry and Vishal would get antsy fifteen minutes in. So I used to go alone. When I was eight, my dad said he would get me a real telescope on my fifteenth birthday, if I worked hard and learned all about the stars.” He paused, remembering his passion for astronomy, the sheer vastness of the galaxy, of the distinct possibility that life existed…elsewhere, and the beauty in that. “So I did.”
“You know, I remember how advanced you were in physics class,” she said. “It seemed funny to me that you knew so much about black holes and red shift but were behind me in chemistry.”
He snorted. “Not that behind.”
“You needed me to tutor you for how long again?”
They laughed, always competitive.
“So do you still have the telescope?” she asked after a while.
“I didn’t end up getting one. By the time I turned fifteen, Malini had been diagnosed. She was so sick, first from the cancer and then the chemo. She spent years immunocompromised. We were terrified even of her catching a cold. And the chemo messed with her bone density, she could break a bone so easily…” He closed his eyes. He hadn’t said any of this out loud to anyone before, not even Karan and Vishal. “Anyway, asking for some material thing like a telescope…it felt selfish, so I let it go.”
She turned to him as though she might say something comforting.
He didn’t want words of comfort, though. His dad had been right to focus on Malini back then. “Your knowledge…is impressive,” Roshan said quietly, as if speaking too loudly might disturb the stars and the ocean.
“I’ve been here many times.”
That drew his attention away from his own memories. “Have you beenhere with someone else?” He regretted the words as soon as he said them. It was none of his business whom she had been here with. More important, it should not matter. It was not a fair question. She was not his, and even if she was, her past was her past. So why was he seeing green?
“Do you mean having sex on the beach or stargazing?”
“Neither. I shouldn’t have asked. Forget I said anything.”
“Fine.” She was silent for a beat. Then she sighed. Her voice lifted in the blanket of the night. “I have been here before, stargazing. But it was never like this.” Her voice was soft, and she took his hand, entwined her fingers with his.
His heart lifted and calmed. He had the sense that he had been looking for her for a long time and that he had finally found her, right under his nose.
It didn’t matter that she wasn’t his. It didn’t matter that every kiss, every caress, every soft whisper felt like he was claiming her as his own. Whether he was supposed to feel it or not. Whether he acknowledged it or not. Any other vacation, he’d be back in his room, immersed in work. He’d barely touched the charts and studies he’d brought with him, and he should be panicking about it.
But he wasn’t. That was the proof. For better or worse, he was falling for her.
* * *
Vishal and Karan claimed to be back to normal by the next morning, if still a little green. Nimita suspected they’d claim to be well no matter what to escape the boredom. They looked much better, so Dr. Dave allowed them their freedom. Nimita announced it was a great day for cliff jumping. It hadn’t been on the itinerary, but thinking about Greece had made her want to do it here. Though she would also have been happy to hole up with Roshan for another entire day.
Just thinking about sunset on the beach made her want to drag him back out on the sand. Forget that it had taken them forever to wash off the sand in the shower—though she wasn’t complaining about that, either.
Her flight was tomorrow, so this was her last day—she shoved that thought to the back of her brain. She wanted to stay present, she told herself. It had nothing to do with the pit that formed in her belly at the thought of leaving Roshan. Of never seeing him again. No, those thoughts were dangerous. This was a vacation fling. They had agreed to that. Besides, who knew how he would react if he really knew what a mess she was?
She certainly was not going to be the one who caught feelings.
To his credit, Roshan did not even hint at the conversation they’d had yesterday, though she felt his gaze on her plenty.
“I can drive today,” she said to Roshan. “My ankle legit feels better. Maybe not good enough to cliff dive but certainly to drive with the other foot.”
Roshan did flip his sunglasses down to get a look at her ankle again, though he had just wrapped it. He smiled and sat in the passenger seat.
She drove out to Kaanapali, also known as Black Rock Beach. Music blasted from their newly rented Jeep as she drove, warm breeze cooling her skin. The guys were razzing each other, and their taunts and laughter filled a gap she hadn’t realized she had. The idea that she wouldn’t hear it after tomorrow—nope! Not going there. This was their trip, and she’d intruded on it long enough. She was no more part of them than this car.
She parked and sent them in the direction of the trail up Black Rock.
Roshan lingered for a minute while his friends went ahead. “You could have picked an activity you could do.”
“This is your guys’ trip. I’m the guide.” She grinned. “Remember?”
