He stopped, resting his forehead against hers, his fingers in her hair, his breath coming hard and fast. “Tell me to stop.”
Without breaking her gaze, she reached down, grabbed the hem of her T-shirt and yanked it over her head. “I don’t want to stop.” All of her fears and sorrows were at the surface. She wanted this. She neededthis man.
Thisman, who not only had his sorrows but understood hers, and looked at her like she could fix everything. Maybe she could.
Her breath came heavy as she leaned toward him and slipped her thumb just under his shirt, rubbing his skin. She captured his groan in her mouth as she kissed him again. He reached over his head and pulled off his shirt, kissing her deeper and drawing her closer.
They were skin to skin, and she reveled in the closeness and the feel of hard muscle against her body. She drew her hand down his chest muscles, across his abs, stopping only to undo the button to his jeans. She looked him in the eye. “I’m not stopping.”
His eyes darkened as he ran his hands down her sides, grazing the sides of her breasts, enticing her yet closer. He bent slightly and lifted her, turning, so when he laid her down, her bare back found plush carpet and not cold tile. She could feel his restraint as he gently kissed her face and neck.
“Daniel.” She cupped his face in her hands and forced him to look at her. “Don’t hold back.” Breath escaped him as he closed his eyes and inhaled deeply. When he opened them again, they were loving, but hurt and angry all at the same time. She felt his grief, and she saw his healing. She brought his face to hers and kissed him fiercely with all the love she had. As if she could infuse love and strength into him with her kiss, and his pain would go away.
He responded with his mouth and hands roaming her body. He kissed her face, her neck, and when he approached her ear, he whispered, “You make me feel like I can breathe.”
Annika gripped his bare shoulders, pulling him closer as she met his eyes once more. She’d never forget the way he looked at her right now. “So, breathe.”
CHAPTER NINETEEN
DANIEL
WHENDANIELWOKE,it was to find himself pleasantly entangled in Annika’s arms and legs. At some point they had made it to her bed, and he was surrounded by her scent, fruity and bold, uniquely Annika. She held him with a fierceness he had never known, and when he turned to her, he was met with big brown eyes and that sassy mouth curved into a smile. “Hey.”
He turned and pulled her on top of him, where she leaned her forearms on his bare chest to look at him. “Hey, yourself.”
“You’re still here.”
“Do you want me to leave?”
“Do you want to leave?”
“Not really.”
“So, stay.” She smiled. And he melted. “Daniel?”
“Hmm?”
“What happened after all that?” She looked him in the eye. “Did you ever talk to someone?”
“No, I—” He looked past her, up at the ceiling. “Sheila couldn’t get out of bed for months. She stopped going to work, stopped seeing her friends, everything she loved.” Annika shifted so she was lying next to him. He turned to face her. “I was the husband, the fath—” He shrugged. “I took the job on the chopper. I cooked. Forced Sheila to eat. Paid the bills. That was my job.”That was what men did. They handled business.Right?
“Yes, but didn’t you go to therapy?”
“Who had time for that? Sheila’s friends and sister all came by regularly to help her cope. She eventually saw a therapist.”
“What about you?”
“I had my sister. She would bring food when I worked double shifts, but she would bring Charlie with her. Seeing him just reminded me of what Sara wasn’t doing. What she would never do. So, she came less and less.” He sighed and looked away. “She made me see a therapist. I went for a few months, but all they talked about was how I was supporting my wife.”
“You drank.”
“Yes.” Most people had not been surprised to find him drunk more than a few times. “I drank. Just a little at first, but as time passed, two drinks became four, four became five or six or the whole bottle—and at some point, I realized that when I drank, I thought that Sara was still—” Tears burned again; he blinked them back. “But then when I sobered up, it was like losing her all over again.”
He would wake up screaming Sara’s name; Sheila would regress and fall apart into tears, inconsolable. For his part, he would be reliving the day she died every time he came to. “It had to stop.” He met her eyes. Annika watched him, steady and sure, small flecks of gold in those healing brown eyes. He relaxed yet further under her loving gaze.
“That’s why you stare at it.”
He nodded. “After a while, I knew I had to either stay sober or stay drunk.” He met her gaze. “It would have been easier to stay drunk, but Sheila wasn’t functioning, so I couldn’t lose my job. One of us had to keep it together. So, I stopped drinking.” He sighed. “Honestly, if I hadn’t felt like she needed me to be sober, I might still be drunk.”
