“Yes.” Sheila nodded. If she was surprised at the request, she did not show it. “I have it with a bunch of her things.” She stood and turned to the closet and pulled down a small box. She took off the lid so Daniel could see. A paper heart, a few awards, things she had done in school, and the ER band.
With great deliberation, he lifted his hand and reached in to pick it up, as if doing so might break him. He clasped the small band in his hand.
“Do you want it, Daniel?” Sheila’s voice was soft and kind.
He nodded and clutched the small band tightly, as if now that he had it, he needed it. Maybe he did. “How are you doing it?” Daniel whispered as he held Aaron close.
“Doing what?”
“This.” He nodded at the baby in his arms. “Moving on with your life.”
Sheila laid a hand on his face. “Oh, Daniel. We don’t move on. There’s no moving on. We just live. We’ll never not miss her. We’ll never be okay with the fact that she was ripped from us—but maybe we don’t have to be. Maybe we just live and love and honor her memory.” She looked at her son and smiled through her tears. “How can you not fall in love with this little guy? Even while you miss Sara.”
Daniel turned his gaze back to Aaron. The little boy slept peacefully, as if there wasn’t a care in the world. He was chubby cheeks and a small pink mouth topped with a sprinkling of blond hair. He was so small and vulnerable... Daniel was filled simultaneously with a need to protect him as well as with anticipation of watching him grow. He kissed Aaron’s chubby cheek.
“You can’t. You have to love him. It’s not even a choice,” Daniel choked out, and he felt himself give in to that warm feeling.
“You do need to heal, Daniel. But you don’t need to do it alone.” She sniffled as she stood. “Want me to take him?”
Daniel shook his head. “Nah, I’m good, if that’s all right with you. I might just sit with him for a bit.”
Sheila nodded and squeezed his shoulder as she left. “She loves you, Daniel. She loves you no matter what.”
“Sara?”
“And Annika.”
Daniel melted into the sound of her name and looked back at Aaron. He put Sara’s ER band into his pocket next to the one Annika had given him. Then he carefully pulled his phone from his pocket and brought up an old number. He held Aaron with one hand as he brought the phone to his ear and listened to the ring.
A familiar voice answered.
“Hey, Gus? Daniel here. It’s been a long time.”
CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR
ANNIKA
THEWARMSUNbeckoned her class from the window. They were particularly restless today, and Annika was sure the last few weeks of school would be challenging.
“All right. Let’s put everything away and get ready to go home.”
The children did not need to be told twice. It may have appeared to be a ruckus to an outsider, but Annika saw organized chaos. Every child had a responsibility in the classroom, and they took it very seriously, sunshine or no. In minutes, the classroom was in order, and the children had gathered their belongings and were seated in the afternoon dismissal circle. Annika addressed the class, recapping the lessons for the day and wishing them a happy weekend. Parents started showing up and the children left, anticipating their time outside.
“Mitch!” Annika called out as she saw his mother enter the room. Mitch popped up and came to the front of the room. He stopped in front of Annika and hugged her.
Annika hugged him back. “Thank you, Mitch.”
“You’re welcome, Ms. Mehta. Have a great weekend.” He flicked his eyes to his mother, and she beamed at him, mouthing,Good job.
The sound of his voice melted Annika’s heart. Mitch was far from a conversationalist, but she’d helped his mother find the appropriate therapist, and he was making great strides. This was the most Annika had heard him say in the classroom.
Tears blurred her vision, but she smiled. “You have a good weekend, too. I’ll see you on Monday.”
Mitch took his mother’s hand, and she smiled her gratitude to Annika as she left with her son.
Wait until Daniel hears this!It was still a reflex, her wanting to share exciting news with him. She shook her head at the thought, but the heaviness settled in her heart. There was nothing to be done for that. At least, nothing that she had found. In the meantime, she decided she’d call her dad and share Mitch’s progress with him.
There had been a clip in the local news last week commemorating the anniversary of the shooting that had taken Sara. Annika had watched, her heart breaking for Daniel and Sheila, and all the other loved ones who had lost someone that day. She knew he always spent the day alone, though she’d picked up her phone to call or text him an infinite number of times. In the end she left him alone in his grief. He wasn’t hers anymore.
