Silence again. Maya was rooting for Sam. It was not very often that Samantha was rendered speechless. The coin became heavier in her hand.
“Why did you let my mom break up with you?” Samantha’s voice was soft, almost cautious. “You know, back then?”
Maya fingered the coin, turning it around and around. He’d had no choice. Maya had seen to that.
“Why did I let...? What did she tell you?” He was gruff, and Maya pictured his anger.
“Nothing. She never told meanything.”
“I didn’tlether, or at least at the time, it didn’t seem like I was letting her...” He drifted off, and Maya recognized a lace of regret. “I went back for her. Once. But...she wasn’t having it.” He paused. “I wish I had gone back again. Then maybe I’d at least have found out about you.”
Doubtful. She flipped the coin through her fingers, noting the identical head on each side. Tears burned behind her eyes.She should have trusted him.
“Didn’t you love her?” Curiosity was getting the best of Samantha. There was hardly a trace of teenage sarcasm.
“Well, yes.”
Maya snapped out of her revelry.
“At the time.”
An unexpected letdown as Maya’s heart fell into her stomach. Well, what the hell did she expect? That he still loved her now? Ridiculous.
“Well then I don’t understand how—”
“Samantha, all that doesn’t matter now. All that is...past. I want to be in your life. I don’t need or want that test at all.”
“Yeah, you do.” Maya stood and entered the room. “You need it for proof for the media, once you make your bid. Better to just have it, otherwise they’ll come after Samantha.”
Sam stood. “I’ll take care of the media.”
Maya shared a look with her daughter. Samantha nodded at her mother. “No, it’s all right. I’ll do it.” She looked from Maya to Sam, a slow grin filling her face. “So, by the way, were those my grandparents?”
CHAPTER THIRTY
SAM
Maryland, 1996
ITWASMIDMORNINGand already sticky outside. The sun mocked him with its happy yellow color and blinding brightness. Whatever it seemed to promise, it would only deliver another sweltering hot August day. Sam parked in front of Maya’s uncle’s house and left the cool of the car for the heavy, clammy air.
He knocked and waited on the porch. This was where she had first kissed him. He could still feel her lips as she had firmly kissed him, surprising him. He could still smell the honeysuckle scent of her as it had mingled with the cigarette smoke and smell of fresh grass at that concert.
Maya opened the door and Sam’s stomach knotted as she stepped out. His hands shook, so he shoved them in his pockets. Her hair was neatly tied in a ponytail and her eyes appeared sunken and hard, devoid of the love he had seen in them only two days ago, and she was surprisingly pale. The lips he could so clearly remember kissing him were set in a hard line. He tried to sound casual, but he knew his voice sounded lost. “Can we walk?”
“Here is fine.” Sam shivered from her tone, despite the heat of the day. Maya squinted in the sun and tilted her head. “What do you want, Sam?” Under her gaze, he became aware of the fact that he hadn’t shaved, or slept, or really even eaten in two days.
You. He ran a nervous hand through his hair. “I need to explain about the other night.” A strand of her hair escaped the ponytail. Sam automatically reached out to tuck it behind her ear. She stepped back out of his reach. His rejected hand hung frozen for a second or two before he willed it back to his pocket.
“Nothing to explain.” Maya didn’t sound angry or disappointed or anything. Her voice was devoid of emotion. How could that be? He studied her face and Sam could see her eyes were red and there were dark circles under them. The flat voice continued, “It’s pretty clear to me that whatever we had this summer was just a way for you to pass the time.”
Sam’s eyes flew open wide and he felt a flush of adrenaline. He edged closer to her. If he could touch her, she’d know what she was saying was ridiculous. “What? How did you get...no! That’s not...” She backed away from him, almost as if afraid. He stopped. “You can’t really believe that!” He knew he was blabbering. “I know I’ve had other girlfriends in the past, but they didn’t mean anything compared to how I feel about you.”
“You know, Sam.” Maya smirked at him. “You don’t have to explain it to me. I get it. It’s not—” she paused and took a deep breath. She looked him directly in the eye. “It’s not like I was in love with you or anything.”
The blood drained from his head and he grabbed the railing, her words a physical blow. “What are you saying? When we were in Virginia—” He stumbled on the words, his eyes darting wildly. “This whole summer...you said...”Why was she saying these things?
Maya raised her eyebrows at him, amusement filling her face. “You said things, too, Sam. Doesn’t make them true.”
